Week 16 - Food Challenge - 18 Tacos, 2 Couch Avoiders, and Probably A Lot of Hate Mail
I already feel the need to preface this week's food challenge. Because as I sit to write the results of my latest eating binge, I almost feel like I'm walking into a firing squad. As much as I want this to be about a plethora of mexican food being devoured like chum by a shark, I already know it won't be. To my followers, as you read this, don't think too poorly of me. To my wife, this couch is mighty comfy. Hearts and kisses, sweetheart.
First of all, I think I only just recovered from last week's brisket challenge about an hour before this week's challenge even began. Maybe it was the sheer amount of protein that started to make my mind go funny. Maybe, after all, I had moved to "meat fever" without even knowing it. That can be the only excuse...
Anyway, I wanted an easy challenge after last week's massacre, so I figured 20 tacos would be easy enough. This weekend was a little bit different from some of my previous ones because it was my wife's birthday on Saturday. I tried to fill out my 2011 Application for Husband Of The Year by taking her out to dinner and a movie on Friday night. I should have waited to fill out the application until after the weekend was over. You see, we then had a birthday party all afternoon on Saturday, and by the time the challenge was about to begin, I barely had time to squeeze my 20 tacos in. Maybe it was the tight schedule. Yeah, that has to be it...
So I ran out to a local Mexican fast food restaurant that had the cheapest tacos I could find. Aside from my already full day, I was in an even larger hurry because I had another engagement in another 20 minutes, and knew the challenge had to go quickly. Not wanting to be late for my next activity must have made my mind have a brain freeze. Yeah, that's the ticket...
I think I've avoided the "elephant in the room" for as long as I can in this blog post. In my rush to get everything done, to set-up the food challenge (I have to meet the needs of my rabid readers, right?), and meet all other obligations, I....uh....well.....yeah....might have....hmmm.....forgotten to get my wife something for dinner.
Move along. Nothing to see hear. Look! Over there! Squirrel! Yeah, I didn't think it would work either. Yes, on my wife's birthday, I made sure my 20 tacos were snuggly warm in a bag next to me while my wife was left to search dusty corners for leftover scraps and crumbs. Needless to say, that 2011 application was quickly shredded. To add insult to injury, I think my wife shredded it in our food processor and proceeded to cover it with ketchup and eat it for dinner.
So as the challenge began, I knew that last week's approach of Advanced Eating Strategies was out the window. In all honesty, I could have probably used 5 Advanced Strategies to Avoid The Couch and been better off. So, it was back to the old stand-by: stuff my face. My goal was to eat them all in 20 minutes, and they actually tasted pretty good for the first two of those minutes.
As I approached my 14th taco, two things happened. 1) I started to get full and 2) my wife started staring at my midsection as if it was a Christmas ham, just out of the oven. I couldn't tell if the look in her eyes was one of hunger or that lovely look that says "you'll pay for this in ways that clearly outnumber the amount of tacos you've eaten tonight." With that, the flavor of the tacos seemed to disappear. I pushed through 4 more, and was two away from my first clear food challenge victory in a month.
Maybe it was my own guilt. Maybe it was the flavorless tacos. Maybe it was the fact that my wife kept not-so-subtley kept mentioning how hungry and upset she was that I had forgotten to get her some dinner. So, I decided to be a gentleman: I gave her the last two for her dinner. Needless to say, I could have won this challenge. I would have won this challenge. In my mind, I did win this challenge.
Then why did this feel like I lost? Maybe the fact that I ask this question from the comfort of my own couch should be enough of an answer. Luckily, I only have 365 days to figure out how to invent a birthday potion that will make her forget (forever) the 20 Taco Challenge.
Somehow, I doubt it would work...
Hearts and kisses, sweetheart.
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