Month 4 in Review

With this edition of my “month in review”, I can officially say I’m on the downward slope (and I don’t mean because of the extra gravity my belly provides).  Another month down and only 2 more to go.  When I think to myself of having done this for 4 months it seems like it has flown by, but when I think that I still have 2 more months to go I just shake my head and can't believe how much longer I still have of my fit to fat stage. As with the first three months, we'll take a look at the physical, mental, and emotional realities of being 4 months into my best Bulgy The Whale impression.  Then, we'll take a look at the biggest "a ha" moments so far. Physical
  • 10.5 inches gained in my waist (at least my waist-to-hip ratio is still considered "healthy".  Although I’m not sure if it is truly healthy, or the “wow, that baby looks really healthy” comment you say about a toddler that resembles a tank)
  • 9 inches gained in my hips (Someone mentioned to me that I've started to "waddle".  I prefer to call it “proper weight distribution walking technique”)
  • 60 lbs. gained in 18 weeks (Wasn't my original goal 50-60 lbs?  Apparently, I’m an overachiever!)
  • Had to buy a new belt finally.  My biggest one didn't hold out the whole 6 months  (I tried to get away with the "unbuckle-sit-and-cover-up" and the "stand-up-buckle-and-walk-away" technique for as long as I could – it got awkward when I forgot to buckle up…oops!)
  • Energy level is still about a 6 out of 10 (I've mastered the "throw my legs forward to give me momentum" technique to get me off of the couch now)
  • I started snoring a few weeks ago, or so my wife tells me! (I'm still in denial, but if it's true I gotta feel bad for her.  Then again, I’m also starting to think that “a few weeks” might actually be 2 months, but I’m just being a glass is half full kind of guy)
  • It's become easier and easier for me to eat these processed foods without even thinking about it.  When my wife asks if I want some vegetables with my meals, without even thinking about it, I say no.
  • Staring at my "before" picture made me realize I never really appreciated what I had.  I miss that body a ton (pardon the pun) and being able to sit down without unbuckling my belt (again, only if I can remember to buckle it upon standing)
  • My wife keeps getting healthier and healthier.  Now I think she's just doing it to be mean (either that, or she’s considering a Body Builder Competition because she sits in front of the mirror and flexes – that’s just not right!)
  • As my laziness has continued to grow, I sometimes worry about how my motivation will be when I have to start working out.  I hope I haven't become too accustomed to the couch potato lifestyle (I pontificate on this while I lounge on the couch – go ahead, let the irony wash over you).
  • The kids that I coach for football definitely let me know if I'm doing "exercise" as I demonstrate correct form for certain things during practice.  They are keeping me on track (or would it be off track?)
  • I still have nightmares of my grocery store/coupon experience, but I think if it happened again I think I would do the same thing (of course, I’m talking about using coupons!  What did you think I was referencing?).
  • I never thought I would ever go with the "upside down V" shape where my love handles are wider than my lats (If V starts for victory, what would an upside V stand for?).
  • I think I've become an emotional eater because as I'm eating something like Zingers I tear up a little knowing the Zinger and I only have 8 more weeks together (wait, that’s not what being an emotional eater means?).
This Month's "A Ha!" Moments
  • While on an airplane recently, I tried to be a gentleman and pick up a lady's cell phone that she dropped.  I was trying to reach it without getting up out of my chair (keep your seat belt securely fastened!), but as my face turned red, my lungs were going to pop, and the pain caused by my fat rolls became unbearable, I thought, "maybe this wasn't such a good idea."
  • Being summer I've noticed more and more "swoob" (sweaty boob) action.  Unlike a love of Zingers, that aspect has not grown on me.  Well, okay it has, but not in the positive and figurative sense.
  • My new best friend is Gold Bond.  I went without it for a day and did not like the results.  You should've seen how I was walking – it couldn’t even be compared to an actual waddle.  Ouch!
  • I've seriously considered switching over to suspenders because of the discomfort a belt causes when I'm sitting, but I figured I'd put my wife through enough so far!  (Although I totally feel a bond with Santa now)
Now that I've passed through my 4th month of this journey, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Then again, it could be a freight train coming my way in the form of exercise and healthy food again.  Still 2 months to go means a lot more processed food and about 8 more food challenges. And more Zingers. If you’ll excuse me, I think I need a moment to compose myself.