Week 7 - Food Challenge - The 8 Burrito "Stomach Churning" Challenge

Remember that scene from

Dumb and Dumber,

where Lloyd has his "bathroom" scene because Harry spikes his drink with some laxatives?  Well...I'm happy to report that my wife didn't resort to antics like that.  Just kidding - I know where your mind went.  Burritos = a comparison to the famous broken toilet scene probably had you cringing.  I can confidently say that, in spite of 8 burritos, I didn't have my own recreation of

Dumb & Dumber.

 At least not of that scene.  Someday, maybe I'll have to post about my pet parakeet.

But for now, we'll stick to the burrito challenge.  I headed into this challenge, worried on two fronts.  First, I had either failed or REALLY struggled through my last two challenges.  Second, history told me that I could eat 4 of these bad boys without any problem.  8?  That might be pushing it.  Plus, I bought a different brand this time.  I know what you're thinking - I should know better.  But this is part of my education of being overweight.  I wasn't smart enough to go with a burrito that my digestive system had proven capable of handling.  Moreover,  whatever the gooey slimy substance was in the middle of this new brand of burrito (I have a lawyer on retainer to confidently prove that it wasn't beans) was not very tasty.  This made the challenge even more difficult.

For those of that missed my battle with the Colonel at the local KFC, I'll take this opportunity to remind you of what a catch I am for my wife.  Sadly, someone has to watch me during these challenges.  This sort of weekly request falls into the "for better or worse" category of our wedding vows.  So as I worked through 8 burritos, I could see my wife getting more and more repulsed.  It's true - I replaced my wife's love and devotion with a substance that will never be proven to be of the legume family.

Now this next statement will really surprise my followers.  This challenge...  nearly made me puke.  Shocking, I know.  Feel free to alert CNN immediately.  And again, true to form, I held the burritos down and claimed victory.  Then again, can I really say that I ate 8 burritos?  I envision the makers of this product actually feeling guilty for using the word burrito on the packaging.  I guess "Nasty, hard to describe, not of this world goo in a tortilla" wouldn't really work as a marketing ploy though.

While this challenge was difficult, my recovery phase was much better.  In fact, after about 3 lonely hours (I think my wife actually locked herself in our bedroom for her own safety), I was ready for 2nd lunch.  I immediately started shopping for actual burritos.