Episode 164 with Brian Nunez


INTRO:

What’s up everyone? Drew Manning here from Fit2Fat2Fit and you are listening to the Fit2Fat2Fit Experience Podcast. Thank you so much for tuning in. Today’s guest is Brian Nunez. I met Brian at this Nike training facility out there in L.A. where there is a bunch of celebrity athletes training. Brian Nunez is one of Nike’s head trainers. He has a huge role with Nike and he definitely knows his stuff. He has a really cool story. From his background playing football at San Jose State back in the day, to building this business of where he is at today. He has a very successful business as a public speaker, but also trains high level athletes that play in all different types of professional sports. He trains business owners, high end clients like CEO’s and he’s really built an awesome platform for himself. I really want to get him on and to share his story. To share what he has learned over the years as a Nike Master Trainer and how that applies to him with what he speaks about in public and in helping coaching people and your average person. He also owns a gym out there in San Jose, I believe, called FNS. He also runs a gym and he trains people from all different backgrounds. I think a lot of the lessons he has learned are applicable to your average person out there listening. I want you guys to definitely take what he says and hopefully apply it in your life.


Drew: Alright, Brian, welcome to the show, man. How are you doing today?

Brian: I’m doing fantastic, man. It’s an absolute honor to connect with you. Thanks for having me.

Drew: You’re welcome. Actually, let me try that again. Wakey, wakey!

Brian: That’s right! Wakey, wakey! *laughing*

Drew: *laughing*

Brian: That’s pretty good, man!

Drew: So where does that come from, man? I’ve got to ask you, because you always do that. I love it!

Brian: You know what, where it came from? I mean, I didn’t make up the word. People say ‘Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey’ I started saying it probably about seven years ago. I had to do a lot of east coast presentations at like 7:00 a.m. They always scheduled me for the conference where I had to do the 7:00 a.m. sessions, but that was like 4:00 a.m. my time! So, I had to just try to get myself jacked up. So I was always like, ‘Wakey, wakey!’ Then it kind of evolved into my everyday habit to get my mind right and waking up my passion and potential.

Drew: Yeah.

Brian: Yeah, I never would have thought! I get more, ‘Wakey, wakey’ messages man, than you would believe! But it’s awesome. I love it!

Drew: *laughing* I just had to start out with that man, because I love that. That’s your M.O. I think it’s awesome. So obviously I want to introduce you to my audience, Brian. Tell me a little bit about the environment you grew up in and how you were raised that led you down the path of where you are today. If you could connect the dots for us, that would be awesome. You know, hindsight is always 20/20 they say.

Brian: For sure, for sure. So first and foremost I am naturally a very …. I would say I am naturally an introvert. Most of my entire life, I have been more of an introvert naturally. As a young kid, I didn’t know how to go about expressing myself. I had this massive fear of speaking in public. As a kid, I don’t really remember a lot about when I was younger. My parents got divorced around the age of … I think I was around nine years old when my parents got divorced. That was a big, traumatic thing for me. It was really tough and when things like that happen, well I became closed off even more. I didn’t understand my emotions. I didn’t understand how to deal with them. Fortunately for me, I was able to play sports growing up. Sports was my saving grace, having coaches and being a part of a team. What that represented for me, not that I loved sports so much, but I loved being a part of something. I loved that structure and that community, that bond. So most of my entire life growing up, I played sports. I was this active kid. Again, I really used sports as an alter ego for myself to become something that I really wasn’t, to help kind of fuel and get through a lot of emotions that I had and didn’t know how to deal with. Growing up, the sport I played was football. So football is …. I am such a sensitive person. I am like crazy emotional, so sensitive. Which now, well football practice, it’s not an environment like that, right?

Drew: Right.

Brian: So you know, you are in an environment where you are rewarded for ripping someone’s head off and the more violent, the more praise you get. That was …. I really had to switch gears. For me, that was something that was …. I held a lot of things in as a kid. I didn’t know how to express it and that was the only way that I could. But after a while, Drew, that becomes a toll on you. Because the only way to express my emotions and the only way to express what’s going on was actually through this form of rage and violence. Although it is applauded by the external world, it was so detrimental to me from the age of eight years old until 22 years old through college. So, throughout that journey, it just became to where I am at today. There are a lot of things that have happened. There are some major things that happened in that process for me. My parents getting divorced. I got made fun of when I was in the third grade by my peers and my teacher when I gave a class presentation. So, I was definitely shut down. I am never putting myself out there again to be made fun of or look stupid. Then by the time I got to the end of college, I didn’t know who the hell I was. I didn’t even know …. I didn’t even know who I was. I was so disconnected. I was so wrapped up in the identity of me as this sports person, that I was so disconnected from Brian, who I was. What my purpose was, what I was passionate about, I literally had no idea. Because I had been smothering that with all kinds of other stuff.

Drew: Yeah. Let’s pause there because I have so many questions and things I want to bring up about that. Because I was raised very similarly. Sports was like this alter ego for me. I could kind of express myself that way, because I didn’t know how to in the real world. It was interesting how you said that sports applauded you to do these things, to be violent. To be a certain way and here you are a coach now, so let’s fast forward a little bit and we will go back. Here you are, well you are not a coach, but you train kids sometimes, right?

Brian: Yeah.

Drew: Kids that are athletes, how do you help them have a different mindset going into these sports that we, both you and I, loved growing up? But you can kind of see it helped us to a certain point, but then you had to eventually find who you were through other avenues after sports. How do you help these kids have a healthy mindset? If you could go back in time and tell yourself, ‘Hey, play football, but find who you are this way.’ How do you help kids that way? Do you understand what I am trying to say? I know it’s a hard question.

Brian: Yeah, 100%. It’s a great question actually. I am glad you asked it, because sometimes when I talk about this it makes it sounds like sports is the villain and football is bad.

Drew: Yeah.

Brian: Football gave me more than I think I could ever give it, in the sense of being a part of a team and all the amazing resources and having the structure and having the mentorship and having the guidance. It taught me to love 4:00 a.m. and getting up early and being committed and hard work. It tests your habits. There are so many things about sports that are such a carry over to life. The biggest thing that I tell our young kids and especially why my heart is …. when I work with high school groups or college groups, it is a chance like you said, to go back and talk to myself. The biggest thing is to encourage them to be open and to share more and to not bottle this stuff inside, because that is the stuff that holds them back. See what holds them back at a young age is the pride and the ego. It’s the, ‘I don’t want to be made fun of. I’ve got to keep that image and keep that cool.’ That is huge. I mean for me, that was everything. That was the biggest anchor that held me down. So, being a resource and teaching them to be resourceful, because a lot of these young kids …. it’s just like with young kids as it is with adults. But at that age when you are a kid, you have those resources right in front of you. You just don’t see it. You take it for granted.

Drew: Yeah.

Brian: Your parents, what they are giving to you and what they are investing into you. You are like, ‘Get away from me.’ I would be so annoyed with my parents all the time. I mean, oh my god! What an ungrateful little sh**head I was!

Drew: *laughing*

Brian: I talk about that in my book. I was just a d**k. I was so ungrateful. I didn’t take advantage of the resources I had and become resourceful. I think that’s the biggest thing I teach them at that age, because when you are done and you’ve got to figure it out on your own, it’s expediently harder. So take the good from what you are going to get. Because sports is going to build your character.

Drew: Yeah.

Brian: 99% of people are not going to make it to the next level. But you can make it to the next level in life if you extract those good characteristics out of what sport will give you. At a younger age, be so much more resourceful and they are are going to get ahead so much faster.

Drew: Yeah. I think those are great points, man. Everything you were saying, man, it was just bringing back these memories of going through exactly what you were going through. I can definitely relate to everything you were saying. So, let’s go back to college, where we pushed pause. Here you are, you are playing college football. Tell us about that journey into college football and then continue from there to where you are today.

Brian: It had always been a dream of mine to play college football. I wanted to play Division 1. Most of my life, I was always like the second guy or overlooked. I would be second team. I was always kind of like this underdog uphill battle. At that time you are super pissed off. But now I look back and realize it made me work so much harder just to get a chance at proving myself. I wanted to go Division 1 and there are really only two groups of people that …. or three people total that really supported me. That was my parents and my high school football coach. I had gotten offers from Division 1 Double A schools and Division 2 to go play there. I was like, ‘No, I really want to play Division 1.’ I mean even my best friends at the time were like, ‘You can’t play Division 1.’ I mean these are my friends? They were like shi**ing on me! *chuckles*

Drew: *laughing*

Brian: I just had this burning desire. I wanted to do it. I said I will do whatever it takes. I said no to the scholarships. I walked on at San Jose State as a recruiter walk on. My high school coach told me …. rest in peace, he passed away this year. He said, ‘You get one shot at this. No money in the world will ever be able to get back eligibility. You can be a billionaire and you can not buy back eligibility.’ There are very few things in life you get an opportunity in life and you can never get back. Eligibility is one of them, you know? He said, ‘If that’s what you want to do, you’ve got to go after it. Bet on yourself. Double down on your strengths.’ I didn’t understand what that meant at the time, double down on your strengths. Your hard work, your commitment, your dedication and have faith that good things will happen. I remember I came on at San Jose State. I was there early. I am excited and I am thinking ok, I am going to bust my butt. I get number 99, corner locker. They think I’m a kicker. *chuckles*

Drew: *laughing*

Brian: I’m not a kicker. No offense to the kickers, but I wasn’t a kicker, you know?! I was a wide receiver and a safety. But to me, I’m back in the same thing. Got to work my ass off, got to prove myself and that for me was this fuel and this fire to just attack it and get after it. There is something that is a really important lesson. I’ve actually not even talked about in …. I didn’t even talk about his in my book or on most Podcasts. But this is such an important lesson that I want to share with the listeners.

Drew: Cool.

Brian: When I came in, I ended up playing as a true Freshman. Again, I am still a walk in. I’m busting my ass. I am backing up a two time all American safety. I am in a position I have never played in my entire life. I’m just figuring it out by busting my tail. I get some playing time Freshman year. I get a fair amount of playing time my Sophomore year. Again, the hardest worker in the weight room. Not the strongest guy, just winning the hardest worker awards and all that stuff. Driven, driven, I had this underdog like mentality, because nothing was given to me. I get a chance my Junior year, he leaves and I get a chance to compete for the starting position. I ended up becoming the starter and had a great season. I was second in our conference in interceptions. I had really just like, been so dialed in. One of those stories, fantastic underdog who busts his ass becomes a starter. What happened next was the lesson that taught me something that I live by every single day, I broke the one rule that was able to elevate me to this next level. The rule was don’t believe the haters and the hype. Don’t believe when people tell you that you are great and don’t believe it when people tell you that you are terrible, just bust your ass and do it for your sake. So, I am like the guy. I am going into my Senior year. I’m the guy. I’m a starter. The first time in my life that I had gotten comfortable. I believed the hype. No, no I’m good. I wasn’t not showing up for stuff, but I wasn’t putting in the extra work over and over and over and over again, like I had done. It was the greatest lesson I had ever learned. I lost my starting position. My Senior year I played about half way and I wasn’t doing that extra stuff. I believed the hype, man. I lost the starting position. Everyone’s like …. you start hearing other stuff. Your parents start saying other stuff. But I knew in my heart man, I knew it was on me. I wasn’t putting in the time or I wasn’t putting in the work. I had to have a real hard check with myself. So I still became a massive supporter of the team. I was still a captain on the team. That lesson right there, Drew, was so important to me that I am obsessed in business and now in life. I tell our staff all the time, ‘Do not believe any of these words. Do not believe the hype.’ Because it is the hype that crushes people most in their life.

Drew: Yeah.

Brian: You know, if they are going to get blinded by the haters, they probably shouldn’t even be in the arena in the first place.

Drew: Yeah.

Brian: When we start to believe that we are better than we are, that we’ve got it and we are set, that is when, boom, man!

Drew: You get blindsided.

Brian: That’s when you get blindsided and taken out. It was a great lesson for me to just every single day to just stay focused on the work that needed to get done and don’t get high on the highs. Don’t get low on the lows, just keep grinding.

Drew: I think we see that in the health and fitness industry. Sometimes where someone will lose a bunch of weight, they will have this remarkable transformation. Then, boom, a lot of them gain the weight back or a lot of them go back into their old ways. They get comfortable with where they are at. They think they lost the weight and now they can relax a little bit and eat those foods again. They think they worked really hard to get there. You know what I am saying? That mindset of just always …. oh, there is a finish line at the end of this race? There is no finish line. *laughing*

Brian: Exactly.

Drew: The thing I want to go back to is with this journey that you have been on, when was it that you discovered who you were and what your purpose was? Because I know that football was the alter ego you mentioned, but when was that defining moment that led you down this path of this is who Brian really is? Without football, who are you and when did you discover that and how did you discover that?

Brian: I was done playing football. I wanted to be a firefighter. I went through the whole course at the firefighter academy. I got my EMT. I’m on that path. I’m really trying to be like a lone ranger. I’m trying to see who I can be on my own. My relationships weren’t that strong with my family, because I was still kind of trying to be rogue. Like, let me be me. I don’t want …. I don’t want this support. I don’t want anyone to hold my hand. Again, really ungrateful in my early 20’s. When I was 23 years old,

I got a call from my sister at 12 in the morning and it was the worst day of my life. But it inspired the best days of my life. I got a call from my sister telling me that my step dad had taken his life.

Drew: Wow.

Brian: My stepdad was basically like my father as well. He raised me like his son. He had been in my life since I was nine years old. He was one of the most selfless people, but he was so disconnected from himself. I grew up in a home where I witnessed alcoholism. I witnessed a lot of things that …. very selfless giving to people, but not so much giving to themselves. When you see that it’s one or two ways, you can become a statistic and go along with what you see. Or you can make a big change and there is something about that, Drew. What happened during that time was …. and I’m personal training along this way. I’m personal training. I like it. I’m working with clients and I’m training them as if they …. I am empowering them to understand that they are athletes.

Drew: Yeah.

Brian: I am still doing my thing. I am not really doing a lot of inside work, as I really needed to be. That happened and it just woke me up about the power of connection and the detriment of disconnection. I was still going down the path of disconnection.

Drew: Yeah.

Brian: I was doing a lot of right things for all the wrong reasons, for all the wrong people. I wasn’t taking care of my relationships. Number one the relationship with myself, being really honest and authentic and with the relationships around me. I had witnessed what that can do to somebody. I had the same excessive type tendencies. I would go out and I would party. I’m thinking I am 22, that’s what you do. But 22 turns into 30 really quick unless you don’t break some habits. So I saw myself going down that path. I said I got one of two options. I can go down a path and everybody will say, ‘Oh I get it. He had a tough upbringing.’ Or I can use this to really fuel my fire and get …. number one. I became so massively obsessed with self awareness and diving in deep, owning my story and really setting in those dark places and learning and understanding and listening to what is going on inside. I just became obsessed. Through that transformation with myself, that was when life started really changing. My exterior started changing when my interior … when I started changing my software. Once I started having some more ownership and experience, that became a way I would work with clients. It was at that point that I was done. I just stopped the fire academy. I was an EMT, but I was like this is the path I want to go down. I don’t know how I am going to make money. I don’t know anything about how I am even going to have stability, but I am so focused on this and I am so passionate about it. I was passionate about it because it was what I needed to fix it within myself. I think a lot of times when people are passionate about something, it’s because of what they have personally went through that evokes this, ‘I want to go help the world now.’ It was at that point for me that at 23 years old, it was just all in, Burn the boats, this is exactly what I want to do. I want to help people get more connected. Training and exercise became the first vehicle. Training in a gym was a vehicle for me to start doing that work with people.

Drew: Yeah. That’s awesome dude. I think if you are going to help people, you’ve got to help yourself first. Otherwise it comes across as fake and inauthentic. People can sense that. I think the greatest trainers out there, the greatest coaches out there and the greatest leaders are the ones who figure themselves out first. They have learned how to change their mindset, right? As we both know, mindset is the biggest piece of transformation. You can give someone the best meal plans. You can give them the best trainer. You can give them the best workouts, but none of that will matter if they don’t know how to change their mindset and change their perception of the way they see themselves and the importance of living a healthy lifestyle. It’s not just about physical transformation, that’s a byproduct of living a healthy lifestyle. It’s the mental, emotional and spiritual transformation you go through. If  you can go through that and have that healthy mindset, that physical side will follow. That’s what I wanted to talk about with you. From 23 on to where you are now, what have you discovered as far as helping people with mindset? I think you do an awesome job with the structuring of workouts and helping people with nutrition, but how do you help people with mindset? I think your book goes in to that, but I want to let you talk about the importance of mindset.

Brian: The most important thing in order to take people on the path to elevate, they need one thing. Anyone who is great at anything, they have this one thing, clarity. Clarity is not just on what they want, right? So many times we hear what’s the goal and what do you want. That to me is like step four.

Drew: Yeah.

Brian: It’s easy to say what you want. I mean, I want this, I want that and I want this. But typically those wants come from what I see externally, what my eyes are seeing. Now, what is the vision that is going on inside? What do you need? One, we assess even the needs before the wants. If you have your needs set, the wants are just like an over filling bucket at that point. But before even that, we want to understand or at least create who are you at the base of everything that you have. Who are you? Aside from this title that you have, your school or your job or even being a dad or a mom, like all of that stuff, who are you? Who is Drew? Who is Brian? Not what you do, who are you, right? That is the most important thing and what that comes down to is all around understanding your values. Your values are the way you operate. Your values are how you are going to base every decision in your life. Your values give you a chance to increase your value, which is your worth. You know, your values is knowing what matters. This is how I am going to live my life. This is what is most important, then and only then you can increase your value by living those every single day. Once you understand what is most important to you, only then will you begin to have an idea of creating your vision. Now I want to give people a tip right now. Because what I’m saying, it sounds great, but this is actually really hard for people to do. There are companies that have core values. Trust me, I meet with a lot of people at all levels and they do not have their own personal core values in life. This is their life. They are their own company and their own business, this is how it operates. The biggest tip I want to give people who are listening right now is if you are having a hard time, do this one thing. Make a list of all the things you know for sure, 100 million percent, that you do not want in your life. Most people write like a novel. I don’t want negativity. I don’t want gossip or this or that. What is good in that process is we are increasing one thing, which is so important, which is self awareness. If you are writing down all the things that you know you don’t want, then every time those things pop up, you’ve got a choice to make. Now if you are continuing to let those things happen, where you are tolerating it, then you are choosing to not live the life that you want. So we start with the who, then we go into the how. How do you want to live your life? What is your lifestyle like? Don’t even look at the job, what is the lifestyle like? That’s all the things I went through. I want to help people. I want to be in an environment that is vibrant. For me, I need creativity. I need autonomy. I need collaboration. I need a lot of energy. I need a lot of positivity, whether that is people I am dating, or my wife or my work environment. So there are all these things that are so important to me. Where I live, I need to live by the water. I constantly write this vision about what my life is and what I want it to look like. Then I attach goals to this. I want to live by the water. Ok, then I need to buy a house by the beach. I need to achieve certain tasks. Now it’s easy for me to attach a goal that represents my lifestyle. When people can get to that level, number one is the who, Then just by increasing that self awareness of knowing who they are and what they want and what they do not want, it gives people clarity, which is the most important thing. That’s really what we start with. We start with a lot of questions, just trying to get people to understand exactly what those are for them. Because we are constantly bombarded with stuff. It’s not just media or social media, it goes deeper than that.

Drew: Yeah.

Brian: Man, it’s parents. It’s siblings. It’s friends. It’s the neighborhood you live in. It’s the colleagues. It’s like this circle that you are surrounded with is constantly flooding this system of what you should do and shouldn’t do. If you don’t get your game plan set, if you don’t have your own game plan, it’s like walking onto the football field and being like, ‘Hey you know we are just going to figure it out. Like whatever the defense does, we will just figure it out.’ Good luck with that! You are going to get your ass kicked! *laughing*

Drew: Yeah! *laughing*

Brian: Life is the same. That is really at the base level of what you should start with.

Drew: I love that. I am reading this book called ‘Willpower Doesn’t Work. He talks about the power of environment. He talks about humans being able to adapt to the environment. So if you don’t like who you are, it’s hard to just willpower your way through that. The better way to do it is to change your environment and then you will adapt to that new environment. It’s really powerful and kind of goes along with what you are saying. The world is going to shape you unless you learn how to shape yourself. If you don’t change your environment, the world has its own environment for you, to shape you how it wants, right? So you have to build your own environment to shape you into what you want to become.

Brian: Exactly.

Drew: I think that’s really great advice. I am going to go back a little bit and shift gears here. Going back to your personal story of how you became a Nike Master Trainer? Is that correct how I say that? Nike Master Trainer? Ok, tell us that story of how that happened? Did you every foresee that happening and then what does that mean to be a Nike Master Trainer? What does that entail?

Brian: Yeah, so the short story or short answer to how I became …. if there is just one thing, well I don’t even know! People are like, ‘Well that’s not even an answer!’ *chuckles*

Drew: *laughing*

Brian: I don’t know the one step. What it is …. I would say it’s being so focused on my mission and being so focused over the last 15 years, of dedication to a service and not towards a title or a brand or organization. I worked with a lot of companies throughout my career. For me, a company, well it has to align with my values. They have to align with the way I do certain things. Otherwise, I’ve been in situations early on where I was like, ‘Man, this is like …. I’m doing all this stuff and I’m breaking all my rules. I don’t have the freedom. I’m working for someone and I’m doing all this stuff.’ I think that when you are so focused on your mission at hand and the purpose of doing something, that is a greater good, bigger than yourself, like for massive impact and for humanity or for a greater purpose, other people want to be a part of that. That is really what happened with Nike and with other organizations that I have been with. It became, ‘Hey, how is this going to be a synergistic relationship?’ I will be so honest, my goal was to never …. I didn’t even know there was a Nike Trainer or Master Trainer thing. I didn’t even know about that. But you meet enough people on the way, then someone gives you a phone call saying, ‘Hey we are doing this.’ You are like, well let me see what it is about and not getting distracted by the titles. I think one of the biggest things I tell people, I will say this to you so everybody can hear it indirectly. That is that if you are chasing that title of “I want to be this’ title, you need to fix your system. You’ve got to focus on your mission. Focus on going double down on your mission and on your impact and all of those other players will want to be a part of it along the way. And if they don’t want to be a part of it along the way, it doesn’t matter, because you are so focused on what you want to do. I think that’s really what it was for me. What it means is it gives me an opportunity for sure to support a lot of people on this mission and to help a lot of people. From content to videos, to photos, to events, workouts, collaborations, behind the scenes type stuff. I’ve learned so much from Nike just from the way they operate and the way they do things, more than just kind of for the title stand point.

Drew: Yeah.

Brian: For me, it becomes another vehicle.

Drew: Gotcha.

Brian: I’m not attached to the title. Nor am I attached to the title of being a gym owner of my performance center. My gym is a vehicle. Nike is a vehicle. My social media is a vehicle. It is a vehicle that allows me to get to my mission of helping 10 million people get more focused, more fit and more free. If those vehicles don’t help me get there faster, then it just doesn’t make sense for me.

Drew: Yeah. Another thing I would throw on there is money, money is a vehicle as well. People think money is the end game, like I just want money. Well cool, but that is not the end game. There isn’t a finish line. Money is just a vehicle to get you to do what you want to do or are born to do. But people are just so focused on money as the end game and are miserable, right?

Brian: Exactly.

Drew: I have a good friend of mine, Bedros, who owns some Fit Body Boot Camps. He talked about this, income versus impact. Those who focus just on income, same thing. They are just always chasing an income, but they are always miserable, even if they get the income, they are miserable still. Versus chasing impact, how can you make a bigger impact, then impact will follow that. Then you are so much more fulfilled. That’s what I love about Tony Robbins quote, ‘Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.’ Because you can have all the success, but if you are not fulfilled with it, you are just going to be another miserable rich person.

Brian: So true.

Drew: There are a lot of people like that. So, going back to what you do, you have trained a lot of high end athletes and big name people. How do you deal with people’s egos? Do you see that and what has helped you navigate those waters of maybe sometimes deal with ego? Do you see ego being a downfall sometimes for some people? How have you, like you talked about before, your ego kind of got in the way your senior year. How do you push back your ego to make sure your own ego stays at bay sometimes?

Brian: It’s a good question. I think the most important thing as a leader, is to lead third. In this order, you have got listen, then learn and then lead.

Drew: Gotcha. Ok.

Brian: When you start with, ‘Hey, got to do this and got to do this and this and this.’ It’s like, ‘Damn. I don’t even know what’s going on with you.’ I didn’t even have a chance to listen to you and understand what is going through your head. Where are you at right now? What’s going on in life? Because all of those other things play such an important factor in every aspect. What’s going on at home? What’s going on at school? What’s going on with your friends? What’s going on with work? If somebody just comes in here, into my facility, we are going to get after this sh*t. But first, just listen and be like, ‘How’s life going right now?’ We tend to have a fight or blowout, then it gives me an opportunity to learn. So much about leadership is those first two things. I learned that the hard way, by just trying to give advice too quick and also being on the other end. Then our expectations, whenever you are working with someone, what is most important is you are setting the expectations from day one. Understanding that you guys are a team and it doesn’t matter …. I coach people that are billionaires, that have a lot of money. If I looked at them like, ‘Oh my gosh they are this!’ They are still a human being that have human problems to deal with. They are extremely fit when it comes to making money, but they may be extremely unfit when it comes to dealing with their emotions or fitness. Being fit is being able to control a result. Some people can be fit in one aspect and very unfit in another aspect. So just knowing where you come in and being on the same page. I think that’s the best thing, is it doesn’t matter what a person does. Setting up those expectations from the beginning, saying here is how we are going to operate. I’m going to support you, and those lines of communication. Make that so clear from the very get go. That has enabled me to build trust and build a relationship where we are growing together. Because as a coach, at the end of the day what I do for people …. my success is dependent on you getting better. If you are not getting better, then something is messed up with my system. If I am trying to help you out in this process and we are both all in, it’s having that ownership and responsibility. I think that as a leader and as a coach that we will get the job done. We will deviate when we need to as long as we are on the same page.

Drew: Yeah. Gotcha. Then what about what you have learned over the years as far as your own ego? What are some things you do to keep your head from getting big and to stay humble and stay grounded?

Brian: Being the dumbest person in the room!

Drew: *laughing*

Brian: And I say that because I didn’t want to be that person before. I didn’t want to be the dumbest person in the room. I didn’t want to be the person who was the weakest or dumbest person in the room. When I am saying the dumbest person in the room, it’s like I want to surround myself with people who are so smart, and if I am standing next to somebody, you can bet your ass they are better than me at something.

Drew: Ahh, ok. Gotcha. Yeah.

Brian: I mean there is something, because that is who I want to surround myself with, because that inspires me. Who knows what my potential could have been? My gosh, if I had just let go of some of this ego when I was younger. That’s one of those things I tell people now, because the more that I don’t know, is when I start to grow. I start to figure those things out from people who it becomes second nature to them. So I really try to surround myself with people where my weaknesses are their strengths. I don’t like to surround myself with people where my strengths are their strengths. It’s like having two Batman’s in the room. Dude, I need a Hulk. I need four in here. We can’t have the same skill sets. In my personal life and in business, the way I hire people. It’s like, you are great, but we already have two of those.

Drew: Gotcha. So you are assembling like the Avengers. *laughing*

Brian: Exactly man! That’s the whole thing. I am so bad with superhero’s, but that is exactly how I tell people to assemble their crew in life. The fastest way …. and you talked about this earlier, is you want to change your circumstance and change your environment. I talk about it all the time. You’ve got to change your associations. You are your associations. It’s the cliche thing, but it is so true. You are the sum of people you surround yourself with. Then if you want to get somewhere faster, you’ve got to surround yourself with people who are playing at a different level. To me it’s two things. I tell people all the time, people who work for me and people I am around. I want you to feel two feelings around me, one of two feelings. If you feel one of those two feelings around me, I am happy. Either inspired or intimidated. Because if you are inspired, we are going to do some epic sh*t together. If you are intimidated, you are going to walk out the door and that’s ok, because it’s probably not going to work. But that to me is something that even when I am around someone, now when I feel like I am intimidated by somebody, I know then I need to be around them, because they are going to pull something out of me. It’s so uncomfortable around me, because they challenge me so much.

Drew: Yeah. I think that’s really important for people to understand, because people want the comfort of being in their comfort zone. They want to get comfortable with being comfortable, but man, that’s not how you grow in this life. That’s not how you progress. Get comfortable, being uncomfortable. If you can learn that now, it will save you so much in the long run. The problem is that based on our experiences as a kid, if we are either shamed into this comfort zone or disciplined into this comfort zone or we are told to be a certain way. Then we are like, ‘Oh I don’t want to get yelled at. I don’t like confrontation.’ So you kind of stay trapped in that little bubble of your comfort zone your entire life until you get brave enough to step outside of it and realize it actually is not that scary. But it’s just that first step that’s really hard for people.

Brian: But it still is, right? To be honest, and to the people listening, you can confess this, as I would too. It’s still scary.

Drew: Yeah. *chuckles*

Brian: I know I have to do it, but I am still scared doing it. So I think people see that Drew just does these things and he doesn’t have the fear factor anymore. Dude, ‘f-that’! I still have fear factor. I still walk in still scared and uncomfortable. I just know, and you know too, doing it enough, that’s the only way that you grow. I wish it wasn’t the case. I wish it wasn’t the case, having to put yourself in the uncomfortable situations and being challenged. But it is. I think it’s really important for everyone to know to validate it, you know? But just to know that you are guaranteed if you are not doing it, you are guaranteed one thing, nothing will change.

Drew: Exactly.

Brian: So why not play the odds?

Drew: It’s the same thing with trying to change you fitness level. Like working out sucks. It’s going to be hard no matter who you are. Even for the highest level athletes, it’s going to be really hard and you know it. But we all wish there was a pill we could take, and boom, we are this endurance runner. We are this bodybuilder or this powerlifter with a perfect body. It doesn’t happen that way, right? That’s great advice for people listening.

Brian: And a quick thing for somebody to understand on that point …. and just to that point, I just had a conversation with somebody on the phone yesterday, somebody that I am mentoring about you are doing this and you are doing this. And I’m like saying, ‘Let me be very clear, ok. I hate doing those things. But I like what it gives me more than I hate doing those things.’

Drew: Yep.

Brian: I don’t really like to work out, to be honest with you. But I like feeling good and looking good more than I don’t like to work out. You see what I mean? So, just making that quick assessment where people …. I just think it needs to be talked about so much. If you listen or hear people that are having success and stuff, whether it’s in fitness, or business, or in life, like it seems like everything they just love.

Drew: Yeah.

Brian: And it’s not the case. You’ve just got to do these things to get this and it’s part of the game. It’s part of the process.

Drew: Even Mohammad Ali said that same thing. I hated every minute of training, but he knew what he had to do to get to be what he was. Brian, coming up on time here, but a question for you is what brings you fulfillment? I just talked about success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. So what in your life fulfills you?

Brian: For me fulfillment is really living my values. Number one is being authentic. The most important thing that brings me fulfillment in my life is being authentic to myself. Being unapologetically me. The weird me, the quirky me and not trying to be Mr. Cool like I as for 24 years of my life. That is the biggest piece, because that is when I feel the most free. Second thing is just doing things with passion and having that mentality of playing with passion no matter what I am doing. I want to play with passion whether I am playing with my daughter, spending time with my wife or training clients, even sweeping the driveway. I just want to find the joy in whatever I am doing and practicing what I am preaching. Number three is my core value. As I am sharing this with you, this is what brings me fulfillment. Not being a hypocrite, there is nothing worse. I can’t stand hypocrites and I don’t want to be that person as well. Consistent communication with myself, that brings me fulfillment every single day. That is why I say ‘wakey-wakey’, my focus of the day is ….. I’m not telling other people what they should focus on. I need to communicate with myself every single day. Having that conversation with myself and listen and learn, as I said before, to lead myself. I’ve got to do all that internally first. The last thing for me is protecting my tribe and protecting anyone that I am around. Anyone that comes into my circle, I want to have their back. I hate gossiping. I hate negativity. I’ve been a person who talks sh*t about people. I’ve been talked sh*t about before and it sucks. It’s not a good look whatsoever. So when I am staying in my lane, a lane which I created by those guardrails of values, is when I feel the most fulfilled. It’s not a what type of thing, it’s a way of living. That’s what I am protecting every single day. Everything else, anything that I touch becomes affected by that, whether I am living that way or whether I am not. That’s why it’s so important to me to take care of those roots every single day. I think it ties into, maybe it’s a good example of the core values I have. It’s that way and it fulfills me.

Drew: Yeah. Perfect, man. Like you talked about earlier in the episode, clarity. I could definitely tell you have that clarity, man. You are a great example, to me. So thank you so much. I really appreciate all the words you just said. Lastly before we tell people where to go and all that stuff, college football season is here! *laughing* Who do you got this season? I know you are excited about college football being back!

Brian: *laughing* Oh man! I am a Spartan alumni! I’ve got to go with Alabama again. I’m such a Saban fan. I love what he does with the culture. It’s so hard to pull against him. Yes, it’s my favorite time of the year. This to me is like bigger than my birthday, just this time. But yeah, I will go with ‘Bama’. Who do you got?

Drew: Ahh …. for me I would probably say, I am a USC fan. USC Trojans. We’ve had our glory years and you know, we got caught doing what everyone else does, but we got caught. *laughing*

Brian: *laughing*

Drew: I am just kidding. But we are rebuilding. We will see how this new freshman quarterback is. It’s all just fun to have it back again, it’s a different energy and different feeling when  Saturday’s roll around. Man, it’s just …. I don’t know, I’ve just always loved it. I’m glad that we can connect on that.

Brian: Sure.

Drew: Alright, so where can people go to find you, social media, website, all of that?

Brian: Social media, I am most active on Instagram. @coachbriannunez. I post workouts every single day and help people and give them tips on how to stay more focused and fit. My website is www.briannunez.com. Those are the two easiest ways to stay up to date on what is going on and connect with me.

Drew: Where can they find this book? *showing book* “Elevate to Great”, man.

Brian: Amazon.

Drew: Amazon. Ok, Elevate to Great. Yeah, I really appreciate you sending this to me. As you can see on the back, he’s got some big names recommending him. Brian Nunez, I really appreciate you coming on, man. Thank you for what you do. I really appreciate what you do for a lot of people out there. I think you are doing an awesome job.

Brian: Thanks, man. I appreciate you. Thank you so much, Drew.

Drew: Yep. We will be in touch. See you next time, Brian.


OUTRO:

Hey everyone, thank you so much for listening to this episode on the Fit2Fat2Fit Experience Podcast. I really, really appreciate all the support you have shown me throughout all the years. If you love the Podcast, then please go subscribe to the Podcast on ITunes and also if you love the Podcast, please leave us a review. It definitely helps out with rankings, which means more people listening to this Podcast when they see it. Feel free to reach out to me on social media @Fit2Fat2Fit or at Fit2Fat2Fit.com, with suggestions or comments or concerns. Anything that you guys think that I could do to make this Podcast better for you, I definitely want to bring the highest quality content to you, the most value because I know you are investing 30-50 minutes per day when you listen to the Podcast. I really appreciate all the support and like I said, go follow me @Fit2Fat2Fit on social media, if you want to reach out to me with comments, questions or concerns. Thank you guys so much and we will see you back here next week on the Fit2Fat2Fit Experience Podcast.


Resources:

  • Tony Robbins
  • “Willpower Doesn’t Work” – book
  • “Elevate to Great” – book

Social Media

Drew Manning

  • Instagram: @FIT2FAT2FIT
  • Twitter: FIT2FAT2FIT
  • Facebook: FIT2FAT2FIT

Brian Nunez

  • Instagram: @CoachBrianNunez
  • Twitter: @CoachBrianNunez
  • Facebook: Brian Nunez
  • Website: BrianNunez.com