Episode 136 – Lisa Schlosberg

Intro:

What’s up everyone? Drew Manning here from Fit2Fat2Fit and you guys are listening to the Fit2Fat2Fit Experience Podcast Episode 136. Today, kind of interesting, I brought on someone, her name is Lisa Schlosberg. Just a little backstory before we jump into the episode. I met her originally at an event for Shaun T, where Shaun T. invited me to speak at this event. I think it was somewhere in Pennsylvania. Anyways, she was one of the people who came up to me afterwards and we instantly connected. She shared her story with me of how she transformed her life losing 150 pounds, which is impressive in and of itself. But then from there, she paid it forward and became a certified personal trainer, became a health coach, now she’s finishing up her degree in New York City to also become a therapist as well. It’s a unique blend of these two different worlds of fitness and nutrition and coaching, but also of a therapist as well. So she’s got a unique blend of skills. She grew up her entire life morbidly obese. She was 300 pounds at one point, even as a little kid, middle school, high school and it was her sophomore year of college that she made that change. So, today we talk about what caused her to finally take action. What it was like for her growing up and how she viewed herself when she was overweight. But then also when she lost the weight, how even though she lost the weight, she was miserable. She was so unhappy. We talk about her finding that balance of health verses weight loss. And I talk about this a lot. There is a difference between health and weight loss. When weight loss is your goal, and health gets pushed aside as lower on the priority list, that can cause not just physical damage, but mental and emotional and spiritual damage as well. Verses if you put your health first, and weight loss, letting that be a byproduct of living that healthy lifestyle at the time. So we dive into that. So really quick, a couple of things about her. She’s an ACE certified personal trainer and insanity instructor, integrative nutritional health coach and a student of clinical social work currently. I think she is in her senior year of school. So, she’s young, she’s ambitious and she’s out there to make a difference in this world and that is why I wanted to have her on.

Drew: Lisa, welcome to the show. How are you doing?

Lisa: Great, thank you.

Drew: Your welcome. Just so everybody that’s listening understands, Lisa and I have been trying to make this Podcast happen for literally two years, I think. Maybe even longer, I don’t really know. But we met at Shaun T.’s event, what was it called again?

Lisa: Transform Your Life, maybe? Probably?

Drew: Yeah, that sounds right. I don’t know, I was going to call it Shaun Sanity or something? I can’t remember what it was called? Anyways ….

Lisa: The Shauntervention, I think that is what it was called.

Drew: What was it called? Intervention?

Lisa: The Shauntervention.

Drew: Oh, Shauntervention.

Lisa: I believe. *laughing*

Drew: I think that makes more sense. Because the Shaun kind of gets, you know, glued to another word. But that makes sense, and then here we are today. Your story was so inspiring that I knew I had to have you on the Podcast. Your a busy student, slash trainer, slash what else do you want to add to that? *laughing*

Lisa: Trainer, student, health coach, speaker, writer, everything.

Drew: So, your not busy at all, pretty much. *laughing*

Lisa: *laughing*

Drew: I appreciate you coming on. I definitely want to dive into your story, because I think it relates to a lot of people. People listening will be able to relate a lot to your story and see just how inspiring you are. And hopefully, motivate and inspire other people out there. Anytime someone sees themselves in someone else and they see that person triumph over challenges and obstacles, I think it gives that person motivation and inspiration to take courage and really make a change in their life. Let’s kind of start from the beginning. Tell us about your childhood, growing up obese and what that was like and then we’ll get into your transformation. But, let’s start from the beginning.

Lisa: Ok. Great. I was morbidly obese from as long as I can remember. My childhood, like I like to say that as soon as I could feed myself, I was eating too much. Because that is the way that I remember it. I was overweight, preschool, kindergarten, all through elementary school and middle school, high school. By the time I graduated high school, I was close to 300 pounds.

Drew: And your short, your very short?

Lisa: Now, I’m like 5’4 – 5’5, so I’m like kind of average in the height. But I was definitely large and uncomfortable in high school. But for me, I was very, very much in denial of my obesity and of the fact that food for me was an emotional thing. I was still really in denial of all of that, which allowed me to be the softball captain in middle school. Which allowed me to be on the dance team in high school. It allowed me to have a lot of friends. I wasn’t incredibly bullied or picked on. I was actually pretty well liked and I was very lucky in terms of how people treated me, generally speaking. But I was always overweight, that’s like the only constant of my life really.

Drew: And what did your parents feed your at that time. What were you growing up eating? Was it an emotional thing and if so, was it stress or how did it become your outlet? Do you remember that at all?

Lisa: Great question. I honestly think I do. I’ve thought a lot about how that became my coping skill. Why that became my coping skill. Honestly, it was when I was 5 years old, we had a traumatic death in the family. My parents lost a child. I was 5 years old, so I really don’t remember that much about it. I do remember that at that age, and years after that, every single time I thought about what had happened, and how angry I was and how sad I was, and also how there was no one to blame for that. I remember just thinking to myself, you know, every time I think about this, I just get angry. So, it’s better to just not think about it. And I can’t feel all of these things because I can’t blame anyone, so I’m just not going to feel these things. I don’t remember eating to stuff my feelings down. It wasn’t a very conscious connection for me. But I remember being determined to not feel things because it was painful. Years later, through therapy and other things, I kind teased out that relationship. But I know for sure that is where and how it started. Because like I say to people today when it comes to other addictions, food is very similar but if a 5 year old is traumatized,  you can’t give a 5 year old a cigarette or a shot of alcohol or any of those things, but you can give a 5 year old a candy bar and it does work the same way psychologically. I think that’s what it was for me.

Drew: That’s a really good point. Getting back, I don’t think you answered the question about what foods your parents were feeding you.

Lisa: It was really a mix of things. We didn’t have many home cooked meals. That wasn’t a thing. Both of my parents worked full time. I know you talk a lot about the standard American diet and this is just what people eat. I think we had a lot of take out. I know that we had some fruits and vegetables and things. The reason I personally don’t blame very much what I was eating in my house, was because if you compare my sister and I, my sister and I were complete polar opposites. She was skin and bones growing up, absolutely athletic and thin. So for me, I don’t know that it was necessarily just a result of my environment, I think it was really my personal way of numbing pain. If that makes sense?

Drew: Yeah. It had to do with behavior with the food, not so much the food itself. My ex-wife and her sister are two complete opposites. My wife is tall, skinny, blond hair, blue eyes and can eat whatever she wants. Her sister is short and dark hair and wa really overweight. But they grew up in the same household, eating the same food. I think a lot of it has to do with behavior behind the food and not just the food in and of itself. Even with my daughters, you know we will feed them treats and they do get treats every now and then. Things that are unhealthy, I get it. Even between those two, they are 6 and 8 but there is a difference between their body composition, I can tell. Which is totally fine by the way because I do want to say this about being a parent and I’m definitely not trying to put your parents on the spot. Nor am I putting my parents on the spot, because I think any parent does the best they can with what they have. Some of them have the knowledge to feed their kids healthy and choose to do so and others don’t and they do the best they can. I don’t think there is a lot of blame to be put on parents, in my opinion. That might cause some controversy and we can talk about that later on. Basically where I was going with that is that I think growing up in any type of environment, and your introduced to these foods, you get to choose the behavior, or you don’t get to choose the behavior behind the foods. But at some point, you realize it becomes a numbing thing. Like you said, at 5 years old you guys lost somebody and you just didn’t want to feel, so eat the food instead and it does the same thing psychologically for a kid. It does the same thing for a kid that maybe a shot of alcohol would do for an adult.

Lisa: Right. But also it’s interesting because when you try and dissect kind of the behavior on food and foods specifically, like sugar is going to be more addictive than celery. So it is like a combination of both. It’s so much easier to become addicted behaviorally around certain foods verses others. So it’s totally like a balance, I think. If that makes sense?

Drew: Yes. It does. So growing up, as you became more aware, obviously as a 5 year old your not so much aware of that kind of stuff, but as a middle school and high school kid, you said you weren’t bullied, how did you view yourself? Were you happy with who you were? Did you love yourself or did you kind of, as you became more aware, was there some …. what’s the word I’m looking for? Looking down on yourself because of that?

Lisa: Yeah. It’s kind of a mix of both honestly. I always thought that, I mean I think it’s impossible to grow up so overweight in this society and not feel like your doing something wrong all the time. I eventually got to the point where I couldn’t close seat belts and I couldn’t fit in a booth. There were so many things I couldn’t do. Walking up a flight of stairs was a struggle. It was a constant reminder all the time, every day. It was never not on my mind, or it wasn’t, I think on some level. But at the same time, having been so deeply in denial about the fact that I had something to work on, I didn’t let myself think about it the same way. I wasn’t letting myself feel anything that I didn’t want to feel. It was a combination of, on some level I’m doing something wrong, I should do better. Something is ‘quote unquote’ wrong with me. But on the other hand, I refuse to accept that. I also have parents who were a combination of, ‘Hey, let’s try and get you on a diet and let’s try to get you to lose weight. But even if you don’t, you are perfect the way you are and you can achieve anything in the world. Nothing will stop you if you don’t let it.’ *laughing*

Drew: Yeah, I have a question about that, because I think that’s maybe an issue for a lot of people. You have people pushing back because people are so judgmental in making …. they call it fat shaming, right? But then you have people that are standing up and telling you, ‘No, your perfect the way you are, your fine the way you are.’ Then it’s like, ok well at what point does the action eventually happen? And we will get into that with you, when you finally took action. I think some people know something is wrong with them, like being morbidly obese of course. They know people are judging them wherever they go and looking down on them. They feel …. maybe someone said something rude and they feel ashamed. But then they have other people saying, ‘No, you are beautiful. You’re perfect the way you are.’ I think that’s really important, because my opinion on this is that you are perfect the way you are. You are beautiful the way you are. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t love yourself while your working on a better version of yourself. The problem is that society …. the outside view of someone who is going through transformation, someone who is morbidly obese and has lost 50 pounds, it might not be noticeable to your average person. Then that stranger that doesn’t know them, doesn’t know that they just lost 50 or 80 pounds and they still have another 100 to go. But that person from the outside doesn’t see that, so they are still judging. That’s the hard part for people who grow up morbidly obese. Maybe you can talk about that as well. Maybe people didn’t notice it, like the first 20, 30, 40 pounds, or 50 pounds even. So let’s get into you at some point, or did you take action before this? Did you try to lose weight before and if so, was it a healthy approach or what point did action start to happen?

Lisa: Yeah. The first time I went to Weight Watchers, my parents had to get a note from my pediatrician because I was so young. So, my childhood was a series of failed diets. I would start, I saw like four different nutritionist, dietician and doctors, specialist, endocrinologist, this and that. I was brought everywhere. My parents really had the best intentions, just trying to get to the bottom of how can we make this stick for her and how is it going to work. It never lasted more than two weeks. I think I would lie to the nutritionist a few times about eating fruit or something. I just hated every second of it. It wasn’t that I wasn’t trying or that there was no consciousness  of it. I just completely rejected it, everything about weight loss. And that again speaks to the denial at the time. It was just a really strong sense of denial. I understand now how that was my way of coping with emotions. So instead of seeing a dietician as someone who was putting me on a calorie plan or something, now I understand that what those people were trying to do at the time was take away my coping mechanism and I was just not ready for that yet. So that’s what it looked like for me growing up. I just had no patience. I had no tolerance for it and at the time, everyone would talk about that as a lack of willpower or something. *laughing* But then the big change for me happened when I was in college. I was a sophomore at the University of Michigan when I lost 150 pounds. Which is ironic because when I tell people that, a lot of times people are like, ‘College? That’s when people gain weight?!’ *laughing*

Drew: *laughing*

Lisa: They are like, ‘There is supposed to be a weight gain, like the sophomore 100. That doesn’t make any sense!’  And I know that, but again, I analyze this psychologically now and I totally, totally see that when I was old enough to move away from my family, from the stressors, from the mental illness, from the depression, from the grief. When I could move out of what was kind of a toxic environment, I didn’t need to stuff all my feelings down. That’s really how it began for me. I began on a weight loss program. I was doing prepackaged meals. I was tracking everything I ate, and really honestly, it was a disorder of overeating turned into a disorder of under eating and at no point was my weight loss healthy.

Drew: And that’s a very interesting conversation I want to dive into in a second. A lot of people think, oh if your losing weight then you are obviously getting healthier. In a nutshell, yes. For the most part, yes, that’s true. But I know a lot of people, like I said this when I was at the ‘Shauntravention’, just because you are losing weight, just because you are skinny, doesn’t mean that your technically healthy. We will talk about that in a second. I do think it’s fascinating that you did lose this weight and as sophomore in college being so young. Because a lot of people use the excuse of, ‘I’m just too busy. I have got to focus and grind and I’ll sleep later and I’ll take care of my body later.’ What was it your sophomore year of college that flipped the switch for you like, ‘Oh, I’m ready to do this. I’m going to do it.’

Lisa: Yeah. Sophomore year of college and I think, I don’t know honestly. I think I was just finally, I was surrounded by a support system. I had an incredible …. I joined a sorority, which was huge because I didn’t know anyone when I first started school. And I think it was a matter of being supported and being away from the things that were making me eat. I think something about being in a place where I felt like I could do it and I didn’t need food to handle my life anymore. But I don’t know, honestly. I don’t have an ‘ah-ha’ moment when it comes to weight loss, because it felt like every moment was an ‘ah-ha’ moment. I knew I had to lose weight and I don’t know what changed. I think it was just the environment that changed.

Drew: Yeah, you mentioned the support system. That is so essential. I tell people all the time, having a support system in place is vital, especially not just for losing weight but for maintaining it afterwards, right? Having that in place. And you know, some people have an ‘ah-ha’ moment or a wake up call and they hit rock bottom and they get a diagnosis or they see a picture of themselves. Or someone says something to them and they are like, ‘Alright, I know I need to make a change and I’m really going to do it this time.’ Here’s the thing, I want to get into this because you mentioned pre-packaged meals and you mentioned it’s not the healthiest way.

Lisa: Yeah.

Drew: The fact that your taking action, is better than no action at all. You know what I am saying? Like at the end of the day, you took action the best way you knew how and you did the best you could with what you had. Obviously now with your knowledge, with what you know now, you wouldn’t have done it that way. But that’s why …. I see this all the time in the fitness industry, people judging other people because they are not doing it ‘quote unquote’ the right way, or their way is the right way. This is where, in my opinion, nutrition or fitness can become a religion where people are looking down on others because they don’t do it the way they think is the right way. They are like, ‘Oh, you are taking in these chemicals. You are eating these processed foods.’ I get it. Yes, you want to get people from A to Z overnight and stay there. But A to B is still progress and B to C and then C to D. And then maybe your stuck at D for a little bit and then you keep evolving and upgrading and moving forward. So it’s not for us to judge or say, ‘Hey hurry up and get to Z right away, otherwise your not doing it the right way.’ Does that make sense?

Lisa: Yeah, definitely.

Drew: So, I just want to get that across. So let’s get into it. So, you did the prepackaged meals. Was it like Nutrisystem, or what were you doing?

Lisa: I was on Jenny Craig when I started.

Drew: Jenny Craig?

Lisa: Yeah.

Drew: Did it work? Were things happening for you? Was it positive as far as your eating the meals and you were exercising I assume?

Lisa: Yeah, yeah. It really became addictive because I was 302 pounds, that was my heaviest weight, when I first weighed in at Jenny Craig. As soon as I started for the most part, my weight chart just dropped. It was a few pounds a week consistently. I was working out every single day. Sometimes twice a day. I was following the meal plan to the “T” and even sometimes cutting out the food I didn’t want to eat. I really, really just went from one extreme to the other. Everything started working and everything was great. It became a problem towards the end of weight loss. My weight loss happened very quickly. In terms of did the weight loss work? It totally did. Did my body change? Absolutely. I lost half my size. But the issues began for me at the end of weight loss when it was my mental, emotional, kind of down fall. I had my ‘ah-ha’ moment happen after weight loss and that’s when I realized my eating habits were always a problem.

Drew: Gotcha. Where did it become unhealthy? Obviously you said it became an addiction. You were working out once a day or sometimes twice a day and you were probably undereating as well. *laughing*

Lisa: Oh yeah, oh yeah.

Drew: What was that ‘ah-ha’ moment and when did you realize that even though you lost the weight, you weren’t eating necessarily healthier and happier?

Lisa: I remember it was the third day in a row that I woke up over the summer and this was right after I lost all my weight. My entire life was revolving around maintaining my weight. I woke up three days in a row with a fever over a 100-something, like a 101 fever. Everyday I went to work and before I went to work, I went to the gym and it was on the third day, I will never forget this happening. I got off the Stairmaster that I think I was on for an hour, after popping like 3 Advil that morning. I just got to the mat in the gym to start stretching and I just started crying. Because this voice inside of me was literally like, ‘What are you doing here? Like you know this isn’t ok. You know this isn’t healthy. You know this isn’t right and this isn’t you. When did this happen? Why are you here and who are you now?’ I remember that very, very vividly because that was my ‘ah-ha’ moment. That was my, ‘Oh my gosh, this is what an eating disorder is and I have one. What am I going to do about this?’ And that is when I remember changing everything.

Drew: Gotcha. So what did you change exactly to have a healthy relationship?

Lisa: I called my therapist. I called a nutritionist and I was on the phone with them weekly for months, because I was in college at this point. So I wasn’t living at home, but I had those resources and I used them, because I realized I was not ok. I was fully willing to admit that. They always say the first step to fixing a problem is admitting there is one. I think from what I hear in my everyday life, the people I work with and the people that I know, I think a lot of people struggle in this way but are not willing, or feel hesitant, to kind of explore what is this really about. For me, I just felt like my whole life had been taken away by this diet that I had now become so obsessed with. I was ready and willing for the pursuit to find myself again. And that required therapy and mental health professionals, for me at least.

Drew: In what way did all that therapy help you? Was it just developing a healthy relationship with food and if so, what did that look like once you did have a healthy relationship with food? Was it just you not becoming as obsessed? Like, feeling guilty or ashamed if you ate something that you knew wasn’t healthy? What does that look like?

Lisa: I remember actually, when I called my therapist right after this happened and she explained to me that we now have to prioritize my health over my weight. And that again is something that has changed everything since then. I continue to preach that mantra all the time. It’s health over weight, because at 300 pounds, losing weight was healthy. Like you said, it feels like the same thing. They are one in the same, until they are not. So, I got to the point where my physical health was becoming more important than my mental health and my social health and my spiritual health. So having her kind of explain to me, your physical health is now the only thing that matters. How do we kind of even the score so that you can go out and eat with your friends and you can go out and drink with your friends and you can go out and live your life, while still not bouncing back up to 300 pounds. Something she really helped me do was take baby steps and do the things that I was really, really afraid of. I remember at that point, I wouldn’t eat anything that I didn’t prepare myself and I was very controlling about the amount of calories I was eating a day. She helped me to do things like, go out to a restaurant and eat a salad with grilled chicken with no dressing, but at least I was doing it in a restaurant where I didn’t prepare it myself. I was willing to take that kind of baby step forward and through things like that, through those very, very baby steps, I came back to my life. I came back to eating in moderation. Or not back to, I figured out how to, for the first time ever, deal with my emotion in other ways. Which for me is about doing yoga, it’s about meditating, it’s about visualizing, it’s about writing, it’s about expressing my feelings and crying if I need to. For me, it became about addressing my stress and my feelings with things other than food.

Drew: Gotcha. Yeah, and that’s awesome. First of all I want to say congratulations, Lisa. Because I know it hasn’t been an easy journey. A lot of people think, oh once you lose the weight, all is well in life and your so much happier, but that’s just one part of the puzzle. It’s a small piece of the puzzle, but it doesn’t equate to happiness. That’s what I’m trying to get across to so many people. You want to look like the Instagram models and the people with the six pack and the people that are skinny. We think that’s what happiness is, when in reality, that does not guarantee happiness at all. Look at the most successful people in this world. Celebrities and fame and with all the money are sometimes the most miserable people out there, right?  Tony Robbins talks about this, success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. You can have all the success, but if your not fulfilled in what you’re doing, then at the end of the day, that’s not success. I think that’s really important for people listening to this to realize, if you focus on your health first and then let the weight loss and looks be a byproduct of living that healthy lifestyle over time, then cool. But don’t put so much focus on the results, just focus on the process, right?

Lisa: Yeah, yes

Drew: And you are a perfect example of that.

Lisa: Thank you. But that is why when I first came across …. when I discovered you and your story and everything that you were talking about, I was so driven to connect with you. I was like, this is a guy who gets it. It’s a holistic approach, it’s about more than that. That’s the thing that got me so excited about everything, all of the work that you were doing to begin with.

Drew: And I’m super excited that we’re finally connecting on the Podcast to talk about this. *laughing* Let’s talk about the transition into you paying it forward, because this is what I love about you. You had this awesome transformation and that’s cool, but now let’s talk about you paying it forward and becoming a health coach and a trainer and all of this. When did that happen?

Lisa: So, my senior year of college I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, as I think most seniors in college feel. At that point, I had lost all my weight. I was working out all the time, now not so much as an obsession and an addiction, but just because I genuinely enjoyed it. I couldn’t believe that that day had ever come. I became a personal trainer the last semester of my senior year of college. So, while I was still finishing up my academic credits as a part time student and I just ordered the books online, studied and by the time graduation came around, I took the test and became a trainer. I had a friend I grew up with from my hometown whose parents owned a gym, so I reached out to them. I had an interview. I just got hired immediately as a personal trainer. I started working behind the desk at the gym trying to just get clients, become a familiar face. Then I started giving a lot of free personal training sessions in the beginning. Well you were always ….  you had an idea longer than I did about personal training. But in the very, very beginning, I felt like I had no idea what I was doing at all. I had learned all of it from a textbook. *laughing* And it was really scary, but that’s what I did. I got hired at a gym and then 2 years after that, I was there like 7 days a week, probably 40-60 hours a week. I just made it a full time job and I was training all the time. And then I became an integrated nutritional health coach, also an online program that lasted a year. And now I’m in school at NYU to become a master of social work, so that I can combine personal training, health coaching and therapy all in one, which is what I am doing now in my basement home gym with my clients.

Drew: Which is so awesome, because when it comes to true transformation, like in the fitness world, it’s people giving clients the physical tools, right? Exercise, workouts, nutrition plans, macros, you know the number of calories, changing up those things, which is a piece of the puzzle. But if you can equip trainers with the tools now in the mental and emotion world, that’s where I think you are really going to make an impact and help people truly transform, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually, all of it. I think it’s really important doing what you’re doing. How has it been for you? Because it’s new. It’s like if your a trainer, it’s like, ok tell me what to work out, tell me what to eat, you know but wait, now your giving me therapy and your telling me to love myself? How has that been received so far in the world that you live in?

Lisa: *laughing* Great question. It’s so interesting because I feel a little bit like a pioneer like every step I take further into building this business, I feel like I’m like patting down grass in a field that hasn’t been walked on yet, kind of? As I move through this, over the last few months and years, I myself am trying to figure out how to navigate it. I’ve noticed at points it’s like, ok, a personal trainer, a health coach and a therapist will respond in different ways to the same thing. I’m not going to lie and say I have that all figured out. I am navigating how that works. But it has been well received, I have to say. I love thinking of a Steve Jobs quote, about creating a product that people don’t realize they need yet. That is kind of what this feels like. I have had clients who were just personal training clients. But when they work with me and they see the therapy aspect of this and how it’s working for them, all of a sudden it’s like, how have people not been doing this forever? Why is this not a thing yet? People really are feeling the benefit of that, so it’s amazing and I love it. I absolutely love it because for me, and I’m curious if you have felt this way yourself, as a personal trainer, I felt kind of limited. I wanted to be their therapist but that wasn’t my job and I had to stay in my line and focus on the body, so now I feel like I get the opportunity to do the work I am here to do with people.

Drew: Yeah, those are some great analogies and questions. And I love that quote and I think it goes perfectly with what your trying to do and what I am trying to do as well, from a different approach. You do feel limited because you have one hour with a client, but then there are 23 hours they have to go back to just living life by themselves. How much of an impact can you make in just that one hour session? And all you talked about is how hard they pushed or those kinds of things. *laughing* And a little about their nutrition as well. What are some things you’ve seen work on the mental and emotional side, when you get people to change or transform? What are some mental and emotional tips to help people truly embrace a lifestyle change? For me its hard, because people just want to be told, ok what’s my macronutrients, what’s my workout? The physical stuff, but on the mental and emotional side, what are some tips that you have seen really help people and really embrace a lifestyle change?

Lisa: I inspire my clients as much as I can to start meditating. I really, really, really believe in meditation. For me at this point, it’s a daily practice. I have found just amazing results in terms of stress reduction, clarity, being able to kind of control my thoughts and my feelings. I really find, like one of my clients, actually the first client I had. Who actually found me off Instagram and will definitely listen to this Podcast. Hi Mandy! She …. *laughing*

Drew: Hi Mandy! *laughing*

Lisa: *laughing* She was so excited that we could kind of do more than the physical thing. At the end of her 45 minute session, her personal training session, I kind of dim the lights. I put some meditation music on and walked her through how to meditate and how to bring that home with her and some apps she can use, including Insight Timer, it’s free. It has amazing, amazing amounts of meditations, visualizations, all those things. And giving my clients the opportunity and space and time to sit and be and realize themselves, have them experience it themselves, how that feels. And the fact that they can go home and do it whenever they need to. And also journaling. I encourage a lot of people to journal, because when you write down what your thinking and feeling, you have an opportunity to actually observe it and see how realistic, how illogical, how negative maybe it might be. And that really helps bring an awareness to the relationship you have with yourself. Which I think is the most important thing that there is, ultimately.

Drew: Yeah, and I love that. I’m a huge fan of meditation and I do try to get people to implement that on a daily basis in their life. Because it helps a lot of people manage stress, but also be present in the moment. And this is where it’s like, well ok, how is meditation going to help me get a six pack? Well, directly you’re not working out your muscles, your physical muscles. But you are working out your brain muscles during the meditation. I do think on the health and fitness side, if you can be more present in the moment, then when you are working out, you’re more efficient at your workout, because the mind muscle connection is so much greater. I feel like meditation helps you be present in the moment. Verses when your working out, you’re thinking about, oh when I get home I have to do this. Or if you’re thinking about the past and worried about that, you’re not getting as much out of your workout. So I think meditation is a great tool to help people obviously manage stress in life, but also be more at peace with the way things are and loving what is. But also, increasing that mind muscle connection, when they are actually in the gym or when they are in front of their food. More mindful eating and being present in the moment while eating food instead of just scarfing it down while you’re on the phone, scrolling through Facebook. And then you have no idea what you just ate, but it was pretty good, you know?

Lisa: Yeah, yeah. Exactly! On that note, the simplest way I put it with my clients is, when I have someone that comes in and says my biggest problem with food is that I’m an emotional eater. My response to that is, that’s not a problem that you have with food, that’s a question about how you are dealing with your emotions. I think the world is going about this solving what is sometimes an emotional problem with a physical solution. So when it comes to what tools do I give my clients, I just kind of explain to them that we are designed to feel pleasure and reward when we eat because we are human beings and we need food to survive. So, the fact that you feel comforted by food, there is nothing wrong with you. But the solution is to not take away the food, its to figure out who to deal with things in another way.

Drew: Yeah, just like any addiction. You can’t get rid of what that vice is, like someone that’s addicted to alcohol, you can’t just get rid of all the liquor stores in the nation and get rid of all the beer commercials. Like you can’t get rid of all the junk food at the grocery store, it’s how you deal with it. How you respond and react to those foods when it’s thrown in your face and you’re stressed out. You’ve got to rewire your brain in a way to respond thoughtfully, instead of just reacting, ‘I’m starving, I’m hungry, I’m stressed out. Give it all to me.’ We have our moments, and if you do have those moments its ok, you are human. We all have those moments. But not beating yourself up and loving yourself along this journey, I think is really important. I love that. We are kind of running out of time here, but I had a question for you. It’s more of a selfish question, a personal question for me being a dad. How have you talked to your parents now that you’ve transformed, lost this weight? Maybe you wish …. maybe the way they raised you or talked to you? Or maybe when you are a parent and you have kids, how would you change your relationship with your kid, with their relationship with food? I’m curious to know your thoughts on that.

Lisa: Yeah, yeah. I’m not a parent yet, so …. *laughing*

Drew: *laughing*

Lisa: No, but I really have thought about this a lot and I believe and I agree with all of the literature out there. If you have a kid who is overweight or underweight or a picky eater, or whatever kind of eating issues there are, the absolute best thing you can do is not bother them about it. Your job, I believe as a parent, and I didn’t come up with this, but I do believe that the role of the parent is to get the food and prepare the food and serve the food. That is my goal as a parent, to nurture my kids with good food. Go out and buy it and prepare it and serve it to them. Once the food is out, like we were saying before, the behavior around the food, to me brings up questions about how does your kid deal with emotions? What kind of stressors are they dealing with and what other coping skills can you figure out for them? Because it’s not a question of the actual food, it’s a question of why is it so difficult to be around food. So that’s what I would do and I encourage a lot of parents today, if you have a daughter or a son and you are drilling into their head, ‘You need to change in order to be better. Or you can’t do this because of the way you look.’ That is not, not, not, I repeat, that is not the way to inspire them to change. Like you were saying before, you have to believe, and I know you posted this, ‘You have to love yourself fat before you can love yourself skinny.’ There is no such thing as shaming your child into loving themselves. You can’t love yourself because you hate yourself so much. It doesn’t work that way.

Drew: Yeah. That’s really good advice. I have two daughters and I’m doing the best I can. One rule I stick to is, never make it about weight for them. I make it about being healthy, eating foods that make us healthy and exercising because it is fun, rather than, ‘Hey, we’ve got to do this to look this way.’ Right? You never want to do that. I posted something a while ago, which was a really good quote talking about how do you expect your kids to follow their dreams, if you’ve done the opposite your whole life. So if you’ve complained about your body in front of your kids and your not skinny enough, and your kids see that their whole life, but you tell them, ‘Hey love yourself the way you are.’ How do you expect your kids to react to that? That’s been really important for me as well. I’m just curious to know. Just looking for someone who has been through what you’ve been through and maybe what you wish you knew back in the day. Or what your parents did or didn’t do, something that all of us can take away and learn from this. So thank you for sharing for all of that, Lisa. Really quick before we go, where can people find you on line and social media and all that?

Lisa: Yeah. So Facebook fan page is facebook.com/schlosfit. It is the same thing on Instagram, @schlosfit. And if anyone wants to email me directly, feel free. That’s [email protected]

Drew: Awesome. We will have all of that in the show notes. Lisa, once again, thank you for your inspiration and for your sharing your story with us today.

Lisa: Thank you. Thank you so much.

Drew: Ok, have a good day.

Lisa: You too.

Outro:

Hey everyone. Thank you so much for listening to this episode on the Fit2Fat2Fit Experience Podcast. I really, really, appreciate all the support you have shown me throughout all the years. If you love the Podcast, then please go subscribe to the Podcast on ITunes. And also, if you love Podcast, please leave us a review. It definitely helps out with rankings, which means more people listening to this Podcast when they see it. And feel free to reach out to me on Social Media at Fit2Fat2Fit or at Fit2Fat2Fit.com with suggestions or comments or concerns. Anything that you guys think that I could do to make this Podcast better for you. I definitely want to bring the highest quality content to you. The most value, because I know you are investing 30-50 minutes per day when you listen to the Podcast. So I really appreciate all the support and like I said, go follow me at Fit2Fat2Fit on Social Media, if you want to reach out to me with any comments, questions or concerns. Thank you guys so much and we will see you guys back here next week on the Fit2Fat2Fit Experience Podcast.