Category Archives for Podcasts

EP109: The Science Behind the Health Benefits of THC and CBD

Why the once illegal drug, cannabis, is on it’s way to becoming a mainstream cure.

Have you ever wondered why using cannabis as medicine became taboo? Have you tried weed but don’t like its psychoactive effects? Drew welcomes Jambo Superfoods CEO, Johg Ananda for a detailed discussion about the differences of THC and CBD, the legality of the products in the US and how the proper dosage is the key to using it on a daily basis. Drew shares his experiences of using the products and Johg explains the benefit of blending psychedelics with meditation.

If you like this podcast subscribe & review it on iTunes | Stitcher.

Key Takeaways:

[05:35] Johg found by integrating cannabis into his spiritual meditation journey made him a more effective leader.

[12:01] Cannabis, THC, and CBD and their uses, explained.

[23:10] Is ingesting THC or CBD illegal?

[28:15] Drew shares his experiences with Jambo products.

[35:43] A monopoly was built against our ability to create our own medicines.

[38:55] The Sacred Savasana yoga ceremony includes a mix of psychedelics and meditation.

 

Sponsors:

Keto Kookies – Use this link for 15% off of your order.

Dollar Workout Club

 

Mentioned in This Episode:

Jambo Superfoods

Jambo Superfoods on Facebook

Healthy Surprise

Give Me the Dirt

@johgananda on Instagram

Intermittent Fasting Jumpstart

Fit2Fat2Fit

Fit2Fat2Fit on A&E

Fit2Fat2Fit on Facebook 

Fit2Fat2Fit Book

Drew on Social Media: @fit2fat2fit

Email Drew: Drew@fit2fat2fit.com

EP108: Red Light Therapy Can Boost Testosterone and Rejuvenate Cells

Light waves are absorbed by the body naturally.

Justin Strahan joins Drew to describe the many uses of red light therapy. Justin is a Co-Founder and Head of Research and Development for Joovv, a company that sells full body red light therapy devices you can use at home. Justin explains the medicinal uses of red light therapy for eye health, testosterone production, thyroid regulation, anti-aging and how Joovv products differ from other red light therapy products on the market.

If you like this podcast subscribe & review it on iTunes | Stitcher.

 

Key Takeaways:

[04:57] Melissa Strahan started using red light therapy daily for its health benefits.

[10:47] Justin researched the science behind how cells absorb the photons given off by light waves.

[13:24] How different colors affect our bodies in different ways.

[17:53] How to effectively add Joovv into a daily routine.

[23:48] The technology is proven to boost testosterone production and to regulate the thyroid.

[27:08] The different products available through Joovv and how other brands may differ.

[33:38] Justin answers common safety-related questions about the therapy.

 

Sponsors:

Organifi – Use the code ‘Fit2fat2fit’ for 20% your entire order

Dry Farm Wines – A keto friendly wine – Get a free bottle of wine for a penny with your first order 

Dollar Workout Club

 

Mentioned in This Episode:

Joovv

Intermittent Fasting Jumpstart

Fit2Fat2Fit

Fit2Fat2Fit on A&E

Fit2Fat2Fit on Facebook 

Fit2Fat2Fit Book

Drew on Social Media: @fit2fat2fit

Email Drew: Drew@fit2fat2fit.com

 

EP107: Indulgent Keto Kookies


The one thing missing from a keto diet is sweets, well not anymore.


Drew welcomes the Founders of Keto Kookie to the show to discuss their amazing keto friendly, kookie creations. Both Victor and Kris started applying the keto philosophy to their lifestyles for different reasons, Victor realized the weight loss he’d been seeking and Kris enjoyed the mental clarity the keto diet afforded him. The only thing missing was a sweet that was keto friendly. The two entrepreneurs commandeered a family kitchen and got to work creating a low carb treat for others who want to stay in ketosis but also miss cookies.

If you like this podcast subscribe & review it on iTunes | Stitcher.


Key Takeaways:

[03:54] Victor and Kris share their backstory and their passions.

[10:28] Keto revitalized Kris and helped Victor to keep the weight off.

[15:08] Keto Kookie’s humble beginnings.

[22:26] 16 Kookies a day for 7 days and Victor and Kris lost weight.

[30:31] Dr. Dom D’Agostino has supported the growth of Keto Kookie.

[38:24] The Power of NowTools of Titans, and Habit Stacking are books that motivate Victor and Kris.


Sponsors:


Mentioned in This Episode:

Drew on Social Media: @fit2fat2fit

Email Drew: Drew@fit2fat2fit.com

EP106: The Healthful Pursuit of a Balanced Keto Lifestyle

The importance of consuming the proper nutrients while on a high fat diet.

Drew welcomes Nutrition Expert, Keto Enthusiast, Author, and Podcast Host Leanne Vogel to the show to discuss a nutritionally-balanced approach to a ketogenic lifestyle. In her youth, Leanne was diagnosed with eating disorders, amenorrhea and had frequent headaches. After educating herself about nutrition and how food works for the body, Leanne experimented with various diets including vegan, paleo, and keto. It wasn’t until her hair started falling out and she was experiencing numbness she realized she wasn’t doing keto correctly. Leanne shares her inspiring journey to health and tips for carbing up.

Check out Leanne’s Healthful Pursuit site for her digital offerings and practical guide, The Keto Diet. You can also find her on Youtube and The Keto Diet podcast, a frequent Top 10 Health podcast in the US and Canada.

If you like this podcast subscribe & review it on iTunes | Stitcher.

 

Key Takeaways:

[05:18] Leanne studied nutrition to cure her ills.

[08:49] Why food shouldn’t be used as a reward system for children.

[13:52] Self-experimentation led Leanne to veganism, paleo, and keto.

[18:53] Leanne overcame an eating disorder and learned to love herself.

[33:43] The Fat-Fueled Protocol is a standard ketogenic practice.

[43:02] The Keto Diet and a Balanced Approach to Keto are practical guides.

 

Sponsors: 

Organifi – Use the code ‘Fit2fat2fit’ for 20% your entire order

Dry Farm Wines – A keto friendly wine – Get a free bottle of wine for a penny with your first order 

Dollar Workout Club

 

Mentioned in This Episode:

Healthful Pursuit 

The Keto Diet by Leanne Vogel 

Intermittent Fasting Jumpstart

Fit2Fat2Fit

Fit2Fat2Fit on A&E

Fit2Fat2Fit on Facebook 

Fit2Fat2Fit Book

Drew on Social Media: @fit2fat2fit

Email Drew: Drew@fit2fat2fit.com

EP105: Intermittent Fasting: Understanding the Protocols and Debunking the Myths

Fasting assists the body in reproducing cells and improving cognitive function.

Throughout history humans have fasted in some form or another. Fasting provides the body time to thoroughly digest the nutrients in the food we eat and to regenerate cells. During this episode, Drew introduces the basics of fasting, defines the parameters of fasting and introduces his new intermittent fasting program. He also debunks common fasting myths and shares his own personal experience of fasting his way to optimum health.

 

If you like this podcast subscribe & review it on iTunes | Stitcher.

 

Key Takeaways:

 

[05:27] The benefits of intermittent fasting.

[09:13] The Unbreakable book has examples of how keto improves cognitive function.

[14:10] Fasting for beginners starts with a 12/12 protocol and moves up to a 24-hour fast.

[16:55] Approved liquids you can consume during fasting.

[19:34] Advanced fasting protocols.

[21:40] Debunking the myths about intermittent fasting.

 

Sponsors:

Organifi – Use the code ‘Fit2fat2fit’ for 20% your entire order

Dollar Workout Club

 

Mentioned in This Episode:

Intermittent Fasting Jumpstart

The Complete Guide to Fasting by Jimmy Moore

Unbreakable by Thom Shea

Fit2Fat2Fit

Fit2Fat2Fit on A&E

Fit2Fat2Fit on Facebook 

Fit2Fat2Fit Book

Drew on Social Media: @fit2fat2fit

Email Drew: Drew@fit2fat2fit.com

EP104: How Do you Measure for Ketosis?

The differences in blood testing strips and acetone levels in your breath.

 

Drew welcomes Dr. Joe Anderson to the podcast to have an in-depth conversation about testing, measuring and tracking ketones. Dr. Anderson leads the Clinical Science division at LEVL and is the owner of Anderson Bioscience, a biotechnology consulting firm in Seattle. His expertise in pulmonary physiology and breath research make him uniquely qualified to create the levels of acetone in breath. During the conversation, Drew and Dr. Anderson discuss the different options for measuring and tracking acetone and beta-hydroxybutyrate levels, when it’s best to test and the future of ketosis as therapy for medical ailments.

If you like this podcast subscribe & review it on iTunes | Stitcher.

 

Key Takeaways:

[04:21] How Dr. Anderson ended up in the business of ketosis.

[09:19] The 3 different types of ketones in the human body.

[13:48] The LEVL product is registered with the Food and Drug Administration to measure acetone.

[17:49] How the LEVL device works, what it measures and what it can tell you.

[27:55] When is the best time to test breath acetone levels to get the best data?

[38:26] The future of ketosis is more than weight loss.

 

Sponsors:

Organifi – Use the code ‘Fit2fat2fit’ for 20% your entire order

Dollar Workout Club

 

Mentioned in This Episode:

LEVL Now

Transform with Drew’s Fit2Fat2Fit 6-month Program 

Fit2Fat2Fit

Fit2Fat2Fit on A&E

Fit2Fat2Fit on Facebook 

Fit2Fat2Fit Book

Drew on Social Media: @fit2fat2fit

Email Drew: Drew@fit2fat2fit.com

EP103: How Keto Can Take Your Body to a Whole New Level of Fitness

Working out is great but working out while living a keto lifestyle is better.

 

Logan Delgado aka Goody Beats reached out to Drew to share the amazing transformation he went through by eating a keto diet while getting himself back into shape. Over a year ago, Logan found himself looking into a fitting room mirror in disbelief while trying on a pair of pants. He decided he needed to get his body back and to help keep himself accountable he posted it all on Youtube. He now has 56K followers to his Goody Beats Youtube channel and it’s still growing. Logan shares the immense responsibility a Youtube channel is and about how he still holds an 8-5 job to support his growing family.

If you like this podcast subscribe & review it on iTunes | Stitcher.

 

Key Takeaways:

[03:49] Logan tells the story of when he let himself go.

[07:29] The keto diet took my body to a whole different level.

[16:01] Logan explains the name Goody Beats and how he got started on Youtube.

[20:21] Tips to make the most out of Youtube.

[27:27] People should dive into the keto diet to see if it fits into their lifestyle.

[32:45] Why Magnesium, Sodium, and Potassium are important to a keto diet.

[34:18] How a keto lifestyle would need to be modified to do a physique show.

[36:53] Logan is motivated by being a good role model to his children.

 

Sponsors:

Organifi – Use the code ‘Fit2fat2fit’ for 20% your entire order

Dollar Workout Club

 

Mentioned in This Episode:

Goody Beats on Youtube

@GoodyBeats on Instagram

@GoodyBeats on Twitter

The 50th Law by 50 Cent and Robert Greene

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

Rising Strong by Brene Brown

Transform with Drew’s Fit2Fat2Fit 6-month Program 

Fit2Fat2Fit

Fit2Fat2Fit on A&E

Fit2Fat2Fit on Facebook 

Fit2Fat2Fit Book

Drew on Social Media: @fit2fat2fit

Email Drew: Drew@fit2fat2fit.com

EP102: Keto Science

The truth behind the politics.

 

 

Drew welcomes Dr. Eric Westman to the podcast to discuss the science behind the keto diet. Dr. Westman reveals the politics behind the American Heart Association’s publications, how the movement to reduce fat in the American diet was not based on scientific research and how the keto diet can help people to manage their health based on what they consume.

Dr. Eric Westman received his MD from the University of Wisconsin and his Master’s degree in Clinical Research from Duke. He has over 100 peer-reviewed publications and is the Founder and Director of Duke’s Lifestyle Medicine Clinic. Dr. Westman has co-authored several science-based healthy lifestyle books including, The New Atkins for a New You and Keto Clarity.

If you like this podcast subscribe & review it on iTunes | Stitcher.

 

Key Takeaways:

[05:23] Low-fat diets were not based on science, it was all politics.

[10:37] Doctors are seeing the benefits of a keto diet.

[12:16] The American Heart Association isn’t a scientific organization.

[14:13] Dr. Westman breaks down the fat and protein scientific elements of a keto diet.

[25:57] ‘Adapt Your Life’ offers fat shots and other convenient keto foods.

[33:26] Cholesterol management is different for every person.

[41:46] Creating an army of educated doctors and coaches.

[43:31] Dr. Westman’s daily food intake.

 

Sponsors:

Organifi – Use the code ‘Fit2fat2fit’ for 20% your entire order

Four Sigmatic – 10% off your order with this link

Dollar Workout Club

 

Mentioned in This Episode:

Adapt Your Life

HEAL Clinics

Keto Clarity by Jimmy Moore and Eric Westman

The New Atkins for a New You by Jeff Volek, Stephen Phinney, and Eric Westman

Transform with Drew’s Fit2Fat2Fit 6-month Program 

Fit2Fat2Fit

Fit2Fat2Fit on A&E

Fit2Fat2Fit on Facebook 

Fit2Fat2Fit Book

Drew on Social Media: @fit2fat2fit

Email Drew: Drew@fit2fat2fit.com

 

EP101: 10 Tips to Help You Heal After a Major Life Change

Sharing your story isn’t easy. Healing from pain isn’t easy. Last week you witnessed as Drew shared his very vulnerable and powerful story about our divorce, overcoming pain and moving forward after hard times.

I’m Lynn Manning, and now it’s my turn to share with you all, my side of things.

As you can imagine, it’s been an emotional rollercoaster, but my hope is that our stories can provide insight and healing to many. On this episode, I share 10 tips that helped me heal from the pain, release the negative stories about what Drew’s actions meant about me (I’m not good enough, I’m not loveable, I’m not pretty enough, etc.), how I learned to forgive, and how I now live an authentic life.

As you’ll hear in the podcast, I emphasize that you are not your stories. You are not your thoughts. What I didn’t know at the time, but learned later on, is that the most dangerous thing about trauma and hurt are the stories, thoughts, and judgments we create around the trauma and hurt. And when I say stories, I mean we have a situation happen, and we start to decide what that means about us (and others involved), and they aren’t necessarily true.

Here are some of the stories I told myself after I found out about Drew’s affair:

  • I am not loveable.
  • If I were thinner or prettier, my husband wouldn’t have cheated on me.
  • Men aren’t trustworthy.
  • All men care about is sex.

It is truly challenging to get out of our head and move on to our heart, purpose, and authenticity. There is so much I can say on this subject, but I’ll simply tell you this: You are not your stories. You are worthy. You are loveable.

My hope is that by sharing the profound lessons and tools I’ve learned, it will help someone listening. Whether you’ve experienced exactly what I have, or if you’ve been divorced, or are in the process of one or not, we have all experienced pain. We have all experienced some form of loss. We have all experienced being a “victim” and getting hurt. We have all been in circumstances where we have an opportunity to forgive someone. That is really the main focus of this episode.

Lastly, after listening, I hope you’ll take with you the realization that living in harmony with who we truly are, isn’t just forcing ourselves to repeat positive thoughts. It really means being and doing things that make us happy, things that arouse our passion and bring out the best in us, things that make us feel good- and it especially means loving ourselves unconditionally.

Thank you for listening.

Xoxo
Lynn

 

If you like this podcast subscribe & review it on iTunes | Stitcher.

 

Key Takeaways:

[00:14] Why Lynn Manning is hosting this podcast.

[04:04] Putting on a happy face while in the midst of heartbreak.

[08:34] When Lynn knew it was finally time to split from Drew.

[11:48] Lynn shares 10 tips that helped her heal.

[27:27] People are doing the best they can.

[36:39] There is no perfect road map for healing.

[38:32] Lynn shares a personal post about getting through the darkness.

 

Recommended Books:

Loving What Is by Byron on Katie

Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

The Little Soul and the Sun by Neale Donald Walsch

 

Mentioned in This Episode:

Lynn’s Love Yourself To Greater Health Program. A 30-day complete self-love & health program to teach you the necessary tools to transform your life, and step into the version of you that is full of health, wealth, happiness, and love. You will receive a collection of health and self-love habits that will activate your self-love muscles and over time, help shift your mindset into one that is positive, productive, and conducive to creating a life you love.

2 Fit at Home

Love Yourself to Greater Health 

Lynn on Social Media @2fitathome

Grounded Mind

Transform with Drew’s Fit2Fat2Fit 6-month Program 

Fit2Fat2Fit

Fit2Fat2Fit on A&E

Fit2Fat2Fit on Facebook 

Fit2Fat2Fit Book

Drew on Social Media: @fit2fat2fit

Email Drew: Drew@fit2fat2fit.com

 

EP:100 Life After Porn Addiction, Affairs, and Lies…It Does Get Better

“Why? Why are you doing this? Why tell everyone all of your personal business? What if they judge you? What if they hate you? What if you lose followers?”

What if, what if, what if.

It’s those “what ifs” that paralyze us isn’t it? That fear of the unknown.

Well, you know something guys, I am not afraid anymore. I’m not letting those thoughts hold me back anymore.

This world breaks ALL of us. I don’t care who you are in this life or where you come from, this world will find a way to break us all in our own unique way. It’s from those moments of being broken that we can choose how we handle being broken. Do we hide it from the world, wear a mask and pretend that we’re not broken so others will like us, or do we embrace being broken and show our broken selves to the world as a strength?

In this post, I’m going to share the short version of something you’ve all wanted to know for a long time-why Lynn and I got divorced.

This week, is my 100th episode of The Fit2Fat2Fit Experience podcast, and I wanted to do something special for my 100th episode. This episode is where I will share the FULL story, so you’ll definitely want to tune into that.

But for now, I want to use this post as a way to give you all a heads up so you’re not super shocked and caught off guard when the episode goes live in a couple of days.

Writing this post and recording the podcast makes me feel open and vulnerable and raises a lot of “what ifs,” but I believe that not only will it be healing for me to share my story, but I believe that it will help someone out there.

My desire to help others by sharing my story, how I healed and grew from my mistakes, moved past the shame and became the man I am now so proud to be-that desire is stronger than any fear of judgment. There’s more at stake here than a few people being disappointed in me.

I am not going to be diving into details on this post, that’s what my 100th episode is for, and also, if I went into everything here, this blog post would be 20 pages long. What I want to focus on, is give you some context and then the lessons I learned from that experience. For a more in-depth experience, make sure to tune in to my 100th episode, airing Wednesday, August 16.

 

Here we go…

The Beginning of a Porn Addiction

A lot of this has to do with my perception of how I was raised. I grew up in the Mormon church. Very strict, very conservative. My perception as a kid both in the church and at home was that I needed to be perfect all the time, or I was “unworthy.” If I messed up, if I “sinned,” I was “punished” in the church or at home. In the Mormon church, it’s called the “repentance process” and I wasn’t allowed to participate in certain church activities. Every time I would go to my church leaders to confess a sin, I wouldn’t be allowed to partake in the sacrament of bread and water. So when everyone was receiving the sacrament, I had to pass on it because I wasn’t worthy of receiving it. It was humiliating because in church, everyone can see who does or does not take it, and as a kid, I felt so horrible thinking here everyone was judging me and seeing I had weaknesses and had sinned, and was not being “perfect.”
So for me as a kid, I started to develop a very unhealthy habit of hiding all my mistakes, weaknesses, and my sins as much as possible, so I didn’t look weak on the outside, or risk being judged and seen as a failure.

In the church, it was taught that pornography is evil but here I was a normal kid, being exposed to it all the time.

It created this “forbidden fruit syndrome” for me.

I knew I couldn’t touch it, but man it seemed so exciting when I did see it. I didn’t know how to control that excitement.

If you do look at pornography and do masturbate, you’re supposed to go to your church leader and confess your sins. Because I didn’t want people to see that I had sinned, I started to lie to my church leaders. I decided I would just deal with it on the inside. I thought that maybe If I beat myself up enough, hated myself enough, and had more discipline, then I would overcome it. It was just willpower I thought. I just needed more willpower.

I tried to use hate and shame to “will” myself to make better choices.

As you can imagine, that didn’t work.

As a teenager with raging hormones, despite trying so damn hard, pornography and masturbation were too strong for me to overcome. From a very young age, I developed an unhealthy habit of keeping it inside and beating myself up for it. I felt so guilty, so dirty, and so ashamed, every time it happened. I spent most of my days being disgusted with myself. Just like everyone with an addiction-I would say that I wouldn’t do it again…and then I would. I started to perceive myself not just as weak, unworthy, and a disgusting human being, but also a failure.

Eventually, as you’ll hear in the podcast, I did overcome the porn addiction. I actually went to an addiction recovery program through my church that helped me a lot. The other men there weren’t some gross, perverted weirdos. They were every day, average joes, ordinary men like me. It helped me to see that a lot of people struggle with this and that I wasn’t alone.

I also learned to change my perception of what pornography was. It was just pornography. It wasn’t evil or good. It just is. Once I realized that I am NOT my thoughts and learned that I am the observer of my thoughts it helped me to not be as reactive.

Lessons Learned: You are not alone. Whatever struggles you are going through, it doesn’t make you a crappy, weak human being. It makes you human. When we keep our problems inside, hidden from everyone, they grow. They get bigger and stronger, and their hold over us WILL cause us to spiral deeper and deeper and to make more significant mistakes that hurt us (and others) even more. Find someone to talk to, find someone who you know will not judge you and realize that you are a normal, human being, struggling with something that most likely affects a lot of other people as well. You’re not alone. So don’t go through it alone. Once you learn to develop a better relationship with yourself and learn to love yourself, you start to choose to do those things that bring fulfillment rather than temporary happiness.

The Affair.

Lynn never knew about my struggles with porn or the fact that I thought of myself as a total piece of shit, unworthy of being happy. She never knew how much I hated myself and my deep-rooted fear of being seen as unworthy.

Over time, I grew to hate myself more and more and more. I think you guys know this-fear is hates fertilizer. Hate gets more and more powerful when we feed it with our fearful thoughts.

A few years into our marriage, I took a job that had me gone for 6 weeks. I won’t go into the details of the circumstances of what happened, but I cheated on Lynn. I had an affair.

In my hearts of hearts, I truly believed that I would never do that to her. I loved her very much and couldn’t imagine hurting her like that, but my reaction was, “I have to hide it. There’s no way I can tell Lynn about this. She’ll divorce me, she’ll be heartbroken, she’ll take our 2 girls and my life would be over.”

So I hid it.

Just like I had been taught to do since I was a kid.

I kept it all inside and instead, reminded myself every moment of every day, what a disgusting human being I was. How could I possibly do that to Lynn? How could I love her and still cheat on her? I had this hate self-talk on loop all day long. I deserved to live with the guilt. I deserved to live with the shame. I deserved to hate myself.

I kept all of this from Lynn for about a year, until she found an email and confronted me.

She was devastated.

It was one of the hardest, darkest and lowest moments of both our lives. All I could say was “I’m sorry.” I couldn’t even tell her why I did it because I didn’t know why myself.

I couldn’t figure out why I had done it, and so that was equally as hard for Lynn. She believed we had a good marriage, we were both active in our church, we had a great family, great jobs, a healthy sex life, why would I go do something like this?

At the time I didn’t have any answer. The answer came later.

I was trying to do everything I could to stay married to Lynn, to earn her trust back. Despite the fact that we went to counseling, the trust was gone. The damage had been done.

At the time I thought if we prayed hard enough, had more faith, went to church often we could get through this. I thought I was doing this to save our marriage but I realize now, I was putting in all that work, forcing Lynn to stay married to me so I wouldn’t be seen as a failure. I created this story in my head that if other people found out, we would get a divorce, I would be seen as failure and I would be this miserable, unworthy fuck up for the rest of my life.

Lesson Learned: When you don’t face your fears when you don’t address, confront, and heal your issues, you fall deeper and deeper into depression and start to believe that that is who you are. That is all you will ever be. Your thoughts rule your actions. Your thoughts become your reality even though they don’t have to. Your painful and miserable thoughts will lead you to make actions that affirm this is who you are.

But it’s not.

You can change your thoughts which change your actions. You do this by getting help from someone you trust. You do this by choosing to believe that you can be more than just these addictions, or problems. You CAN do something about it.

 

Getting Help

Lynn and I stayed married for a few more years, and we tried to make it work. Eventually, Lynn met a life coach named Kathryn from Clarity Coaching in Salt Lake City and loved her so much she signed me up for a session as well. I had one session with Kathryn and broke down. I cried for 3 hours straight. For the first time in my life, I had finally opened up and talked to someone, with no judgment, about my issues. For the first time in my life, I was being vulnerable, open, and asking for help.

The biggest thing I took away from working with Kathryn, was that she finally taught me for the first time, to learn how to love myself. I couldn’t learn that through religion, through family, through friends. I had spent my entire life HATING myself, ashamed of being weak and human. It wasn’t until I worked with Kathryn that I finally saw the importance of loving yourself.

Kathryn taught me that when we live in other people’s business, worried what they will think of us, wondering why God made us this way, why we have these faults, will people ever forgive us and so on, we stay miserable and can never truly move forward, heal and get past it.

I came away from my sessions with all this weight off my shoulders and realizing I didn’t have to define myself based on the mistakes I had made. While that was the part that was consuming me at the time, it was also a small piece of who I really was. I was more than just my mistakes. I’d looked at myself as being a failure and not being good enough my entire life, but now, I could see that I didn’t have to let that define me. I could grow past this, and be the kind of man I was meant to be…and I didn’t have to do it alone.

Lesson Learned: You are not your past. You are not your mistakes. You don’t have to let your past rob you of your future. Yes, I made mistakes, yes I fucked up royally, but I was doing the best I could with what I knew. I was raised in fear. I thought asking for help was going to destroy me and ruin my life. I thought no one would ever understand. The shame made me feel like I was some disgusting, perverted, sick freak who was a failure as a human being. While yes, some people will judge you and won’t give you a chance to explain yourself, there are tons more who will hold space for you, listen to you, guide you, and help you change your life. I thought that if my “sins” got out, I would be labeled as this cheating, porn addict for the rest of my life. That I would be defined by my mistakes. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I am not that same man anymore. I made those mistakes, but by seeking help, I was able to evolve into the man I am proud to be today. My past happened, mistakes were made, hearts were broken, trust dissolved…but who I was then, is not who I am now. And neither are you. You have the opportunity to change the course of your life. You have the opportunity to be MORE than just your past mistakes.

Why I Cheated

Working with Kathryn helped me realize why I ended up cheating.

It had nothing to do with Lynn. I truly did love her. It had nothing to do with how I saw Lynn, it all had to do with how I saw myself.

Here I was, seeing myself as a failure my entire life, as a fuck up my whole life, so why not go cheat? I’m already a failure so why not have an affair? It was exciting, and the infatuation was there, it was like nothing I had ever experienced. It was like a drug. The front of my brain shut off and I was thinking primal at the time. It had nothing to do with how I felt for Lynn. It was really interesting for me to finally discover that the affair happened because of how I viewed myself. Those bad thoughts we think? Yeah. They rule our actions.

I discovered that if I truly learned how to love myself, I wouldn’t feel the need to do things that reinforced my false fear of being a failure in life.

I grew so much in my sessions with Kathryn that I finally got to a place where I knew I had to let Lynn go. I could tell that she wanted to get a divorce and this was affecting her health and well-being, but I was forcing her to stay in our marriage, not only for fear of what family and friends would think of us, but all of this happened during my Fit2Fat2Fit experience. The whole world was watching us. We both had to pretend to be this happy, in-love, perfect couple with no problems.

After working with Kathryn for a while, I realized that I had to let Lynn go. So we agreed to get a divorce.

To this day, Lynn and I are still friends, business partners, and co-parents and we get along just fine. That is thanks to both of us, putting in the work to heal, grow, forgive, and strengthen our relationships with ourselves.

Putting The Past Behind Me

When you’re in a good place, and you have a good relationship with yourself, you are in control of what you want. You no longer make mistakes based on reinforcing hateful thoughts, and you take action based on who you truly desire to be, what brings you happiness, and what is fulfilling.

Life is too short. I want to spend my time doing fulfilling things like being with my kids, traveling, creating content that helps people, seeing the world, working out, being in nature, meditating, being with close friends and family, etc.

When you accept and love yourself, you have a fulfilling life, you don’t crave or make the same mistakes over and over again. My choices are no longer fueled by shame, fear, or self-hate. Instead, my actions and choices are fueled by love, respect, and what will fulfill me.

I want to close this out by saying that I am who I am, I love who I am now, and I continue to be a better man every day.

If you’re someone suffering, with any addiction or emotional struggle, you don’t have to suffer in silence. If you can learn to embrace vulnerability as a strength, your life will completely change. And yes, it sucks and it’s hard going through it all, but you will get to a place where it no longer has power over you, and you no longer live in guilt and shame.

We’ve been taught that it’s not manly or cool to talk about your feelings, it’s not ok to talk about your weaknesses, but if you can really open up and have someone to talk to about these things without judgment, that’s a great first step. The more you talk about it the less power it has over you.

Life is a journey. Life is crazy. There are so many ups and downs, but I truly believe that everything that happens to us, happens FOR us. How is this going to make me a better person? Better dad? Better leader? If we look at the situation we go through that way; it will be so much easier to get over the pain and heartache and move on with our lives.

I’m Drew Manning, and that was my story.

Thanks for reading.

 

Key Takeaways:

[03:50] Drew grew up in the strict, conservative Mormon church where pornography was deemed sinful.
[08:46] The unhealthy habit of guilt and shame.
[09:41] The defining moments that caused Drew to hide his struggles.
[15:11] In 2009, Lynn discovered Drew had cheated on her.
[22:15] A life coach taught Drew how to love himself and to live in his own business.
[26:15] So, why did Drew cheat on a wife he truly loved?
[33:03] Overcoming his addiction to pornography has made Drew more authentic.
[42:14] Be grateful for everything that happens to you.